Pre-marriage, post-university. After one-night stands, bed before midnight. “We,” not “I.”

Dating while you’re in a relationship is hard. I don’t mean my BF and I are all “Sister Wives” or anything, but trying to remember that we’re dating each other is just really hard sometimes.

Let’s play a game. Out of our daily activities below, let’s see how many remind you of dating someone, vs. living with someone in a non-romantic way:

1. Wake up, shower, often use the toilet/brush teeth/fix hair while other person is in the shower
2. Take the subway to work together and talk about our upcoming days
3. Email periodically throughout the day, usually about something funny at work or upcoming plans
4. Go home, immediately change into something more comfortable. By “more comfortable,” I mean matching sweatpants
5. Make dinner, argue about who is cleaning up the dishes vs. whose clothes are on the floor
6. Have a “discussion” about turning the XBOX volume down so Pretty Little Liars can be heard, and vice-versa
7. Debate staying up later to watch more TV shows, or going to read in bed
8. Read in bed
9. Sleep
10. More sleep

If you minus the fact that we share a bed, I’d say the above is about even. Are we dating, or are we siblings?

While it’s nice to be with someone who you don’t feel you need to impress, that doesn’t mean you should start asking them about that weird rash you have, or pooing with the door open. Not that we do these things. Yet.

It does mean that you might have to work a little harder to keep that spark going. That you should plan to have special dates that involves leaving the house and wearing a bra (you, not him). That it’s good to hang out with other people on a regular basis, so that seeing each other is something you actually look forward to, not just expect. And that most importantly, you should keep the heat inside the house at a reasonable level so you have a reason to wear lingerie instead of sweatpants and wool socks to bed.*

*The entire reason I wrote this article. Please turn the heat up, dear boyfriend. Fall is officially here.

~ Shannon M