Remember that late 90s commercial where a businessman freaks out at the airport because he accidentally checks his laptop? He’s running around the terminal with a dumbfounded look on his face, slapping his forehead, and yelling:

“I checked my notebook. I can’t believe I checked my notebook!!!”

Well, I’ve been having the same dream the last few nights. Except I’m running around the airport yelling:

“I checked my baby. I can’t believe I checked my baby!!!”

Granted, I don’t think airport personnel would ever allow me to do that, accidentally or otherwise. But it doesn’t stop me from dreaming that it could happen. Yes, I’m going on ‘vacation’ at the end of the week and I’ve never been more terrified in my life. It’s Cy’s first flight.

Cut to ominous overture: DUM DUM DUM.

I’m going to be THAT woman with screaming child that everyone prays they don’t have to sit anywhere near. And I’m going to have to endure 4 hours of this torture. It’s not like church where you can always walk out if things get really bad and threaten to sell the child to gypsies outside, where no one will question your parenting skills or threaten to call child services. No, on a plane, there is no where to go. There is no where to hide. It’s just you. A crying baby. And 100 strangers ready to throw you both overboard at the slightest whimper. There will be dirty looks. Potential kicks to the back of the chair. Or even a rude childless passenger or two who will ‘politely’ tap me on the shoulder and ask: “doesn’t it come with an off button?”

I understand what it’s like. There was a time when I cursed moms and babies on planes. I think there was even a time, during an unfortunate 24 hour return flight from Japan where i was stuck in front of a newborn that screamed for the better 23 hours of the trip, that I seriously considered starting a petition to ban babies from flying altogether. Seriously though, who hasn’t, at one time or another, considered the potential merits of passing such a bylaw?

And now it’s my turn. 3 more sleeps and I will have to face my very own worst nightmare. Will karma show it’s ugly face and punish me for my evil thoughts with my very own screaming 3 month old? Or will Cy, with his chubby cheeks and winsome grin, be the apple of every flight attendent’s eye?

Stay tuned…