by Karen Cleveland
I couldn’t help but notice a string of break-ups in the days immediately following Valentine’s Day. I suspect quite a few of them can be chalked up to passive-aggressiveness, namely the old bait-and-switch.

Here’s how I’ve seen it go down.

Girl really wants guy to make giant fuss over her on Valentine’s Day, but wants to give the impression that she’s actually cooler than that (so her stock goes up in his books). So instead of making plans, she demurely says, “I think Valentine’s Day is dumb, I don’t want to celebrate it – don’t sweat plans or getting me anything”. On the inside, however, she’s squealing with anticipation, fantasizing about the plans she secretly really wants him to put together.

Poor guy hears this, listens to it and follows suit, only then to be blindsided by a pout, folded arms and bitchy response. “I know I told you didn’t have to do anything – I figured you’d want to do something [exasperated huff]”.

I’ve seen this punk move pulled on my brother and many friends over the years…it’s apparently still in heavy rotation for Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and birthdays. How sad. While there’s a place for chivalry (I hope), there’s also a time to be literal and forthright. If you want an all-out fussy night, say so – goodness, no one’s a mind reader — you just might be pleasantly surprised. Or plan one yourself.

If you pulled this move last week, shame on you. Go fix your mess.