How To Survive A Vacation With Your Ex

What started as an impromptu weekend getaway to Washington, D.C., (where I hoped to fulfill my House-of-Cards-fantasy of sleeping with and being murdered by a congressman), quickly turned into a vacation with my ex-boyfriend. The particulars of how we got to that point are not important, what matters only is that I survived to tell the tale. Sure, that survival came by way of bottomless mimosas at brunch, but there is a lesson to be learned here. So without further ado, here are the dos and don’ts for those who find themselves vacationing with a former flame.

– Don’t do it. 

– Don’t do it. “It” being sex: for those of you with more maturity than my middle school-minded self. Do be confident and do wear that outfit that enables you to ooze said confidence. Your ex will be none the wiser if you get your hair done two hours before your flight just so you can breathlessly tell him, “Oh, but I just got off the plane like this!” and look flawlessly fabulous while doing so. The illusion of sex, in this case, is so much more effective than the messy act itself. Sure, muscle memory will dictate the occasional knee-graze or arm-pat, but any more than that and you’ll end up in a very vulnerable spot.

– Don’t reminisce or ruminate. This is not an opportunity for catharsis or to say all the things you never said or to get back together, so quash any notions of that immediately. Take it from me and do not start quoting the Sylvia Plath poem he read aloud to you in bed that one time. What this can and should be is an opportunity for closure. If you’re inclined to do so, cry or castigate him in the privacy of your own home, later, in the company of your cat and a glass of red wine. For now (and always), you are a strong, smokin’ hot, independent woman (you really are, though).

– Don’t brag. It is tempting, I know, to tell your ex all about your hot new lover who happens to be the spitting image of Ryan Gosling and gives you multiple orgasms every night. It is probably equally tempting to say this even if, in reality, you’ve been spending every night on your couch eating frozen pizza and watching Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns on Netflix. This problem might arise when he tells you all about his new job, which I’ll just say involves saving the world one democratic civic hoop dream at a time. Stay strong, be curious and courteous about it, but you’re above playing the one-upper game.

– Don’t misremember. And don’t romanticize. If it was meant to last, it would have. Sure, at the time, it was what you both wanted and you both gave what you gave. You don’t have to be sorry it’s over, just be content that (pending follow-through of this how-to list), you can have a civil conversation should your paths cross in the future.

– Do leave. You have no social obligations to your ex anymore. You don’t need to see the same sights, you don’t need to eat all your meals together. If you’re not feeling it, go and do your own thing – it is the leading perk of being single.

– Do have fun. Truthfully, this is the only axiom I followed. Because who cares? Who cares if you laughed a little too loudly at his jokes? Who cares if there was a bit of knee-grazing? Who cares if the last thing you said was “Say hi to your mom.”? Most of the advice I was given was to gain the upper hand by playing it cool, which I am anything but. So long as you and don’t get jumbled up in any emotional game-playing, you are absolutely allowed to enjoy this person’s company – there was something that drew you together in the first place, right?

11 Comments

  1. Seth Daniel
    October 15, 2014

    Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy would you do this to yourself???

  2. Merlin Paz
    October 15, 2014

    Is it one sentence long and says “Do not do this”?

  3. Jessica Morgan
    February 16, 2016

    I want the world to know a great man that is well known as Dr Happy,he has the perfect solution to relationship issues and marriage problems. The main reason why i went to Dr Happy was for solution on how i can get my husband back because in recent times i have read some testimonies on the internet which some people has written about Dr Happy and i was so pleased and i decided to seek for assistance from him on his email [howtogetyourexback@hotmail.com] which he did a perfect job by casting a spell on my husband which made him to come back to me and beg for forgiveness.I will not stop publishing his name and his email on the net because of the good work he has done for me. I will drop his contact for the usefulness of those that needs his help.His Email Dr Happy “CONTACT via [ howtogetyourexback@hotmail.com ] You can contact him today and get your problem solved.

  4. FarwellAlliemcafee
    March 19, 2016

    After being in relationship with Harry for Five years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. but one day I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in love spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: druguelspellhome1@gmail.com you can email him or called him on +2347056683626 if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: druguelspellhome@yahoo.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

  5. Stacey Ken
    July 15, 2016

    I am Stacey Martins from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Ajaguna who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can’t imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won’t work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact Dr Ajaguna and just visit ajaguna7demons@gmail.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Ajaguna and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds..

  6. Stacey Ken
    July 15, 2016

    I am Stacey Martins from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Ajaguna who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can’t imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won’t work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact Dr Ajaguna and just visit ajaguna7demons@gmail.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Ajaguna and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds…

  7. HabibAarib
    August 12, 2016

    hello,i am From United Kingdom. I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr OKORO has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex wife to me with his great spell, I was married to this woman called georgette we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when will were unable to give birth to a child for 2 years she left me and told me she can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get her back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email(DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) then you won’t believe this, when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast. and bring my lost wife back, and after a month she miss her monthly period and she go for a test and the result stated that she pregnant. am happy today because am a father of a baby girl, thank you once again the great DR OKORO for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through any of this problems listed below: you can contact him via Email; DROKOROTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM
    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) Or you have been scammed and you want to recover your lost money
    [9] if you want to win the lottery
    (drokorotemple@gmail.com)

  8. JulieLeach4
    August 28, 2016

    I am Juile, From UK, I will start by saying to all that have experience heart break and also can’t do without their lover should please stop here and read up my story, So as you will know how to go solving or getting your ex back…Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of Prophet Egwonga that helped me recently to bring back my Husband that left me for another woman for no reason for the past 3 years. After seeing a post of a woman named Monique Robinson from USA on the internet testifying of how she was helped by Prophet Egwonga. I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my husband, happiness and to make sure that my child grows up with his Dad. Am happy today that he helped me and i can proudly say that my husband is now with me again and he is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post here is your solution Prophet Egwonga is your solution contact him now on his Email: solutiontemple2@gmail.com or call +2347037477662

  9. JoyDestiny
    September 1, 2016

    I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart which I want to share with everyone. My name is Ella. I had a misunderstanding with my lover a few years ago; which led to us to break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. He saw a beautiful love more prettier than myself, but as time went on I met Doctor ogbo. He is a great spell caster (medicine man ). I contacted him through his email and explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn’t worry, that my lover will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness. I bought an item that he told me to buy for the preparation of the spell. After everything was prepared he told me that my lover will come to me with 24 hours begging. My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on his knees begging for forgiveness, and today we are happy. Do you have any problem with your loved one? Do not know what to do? Well worry no more because Doctor ogbo can provide you with a spell to get him or her back. With the help of a spell just as he helped me. Contact Doctor ogbo today via email for your spell: 

  10. JoyDestiny
    January 20, 2017

    I’m so excited my husband is back after he left me for another woman. My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr OGBO can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give it a trial. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 24 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr OGBO. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. Email him at:
    1) Love Spells2) Lost Love Spells3) Divorce Spells4) Marriage Spells5) Binding Spell.6) Breakup Spells7) Banish a past Lover8.) You want to be promoted in your office/ Lottery spell9) want to satisfy your loverkristinajuha

  11. LindaJane
    March 9, 2017

    After being in relationship with markiss for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drosemudiamenspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: drosemudiamenspellhome@gmail.com  CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

Post Comment