March 7th-16th The Vagina Monologues Meets The F Word @ Buddies In Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St. “360 Productions is bringing The Vagina Monologues Meets The F Word to the Toronto stage in celebration of International Women’s Day 2014. The F Word, an Amnesty International Freedom of Expression Award Nominated play is written by Telly Award Winner and Hollywood fight choreographer Jennifer Phillips (Salt, Eclipse, Thor). The stories are all real and range from fun issues like women’s obsession with shoes, sex and menopause along with Ensler’s Angry Vagina to more hard hitting, topical ones such as rape culture, depression and child sex trafficking. Phillips will take excerpts from Ensler’s Vagina Monologues and combine them with excerpts from The F Word to create what will surely be the sexiest, most controversial and powerful show of the year.” Net proceeds from the show will benefit Nellie’s Shelter for Women and Children in Toronto and the Centre for Women’s Studies and Education (UofT). Showtimes: Friday at 7:30 pm; Saturday at 2:30 pm and 7:30 pm; Sunday at 2:30 pm. $16-26 tickets available at the door or online.

March 8th-9th Seedy Saturday & Sunday @ Evergreen Brickworks, 550 Bayview Ave. Buy, sell, and trade local heritage and heirloom seeds including vegetables, herbs, flowers, and native species. The workshops will teach you everything you need to know about starting and caring for your garden + saving/harvesting your own seeds! 11-4 pm.

WEDNESDAY

10 pm Liquid Karaoke @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Colin Bergh, James McDonough, Nadia Belerique, and Jeff Hayward are your hosts. $4 Jameson and $5.50 pints before midnight. 10 pm Weird Winter (Bro)mance @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Weird indie-shit, dance music, fun vibes, and hugs for everyone. THURSDAY7 pm “If Walls Could Talk” Opening Reception @ The Gladstone Hotel 2nd Floor Gallery, 1214 Queen St. W. “’If Walls Could Talk’ (IWCT) is a juried show of experiential illustration that features work by emerging and established artists. Running March 6th through 30th, 2014 IWCT features projects using illustration, or other art forms related to it, to occupy or alter the hotel’s 2nd floor gallery and public spaces in dramatic, conceptual and experimental ways.” Until 10 pm.

10 pm #ThrowbackThursdays Launch Party @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Clinton’s has a new baby! And the bottle upon which it suckles is filled with bombastic hits to drive you straight mental. Every Thursday, come get a taste of tunes from: J-Lo, DMX, Spice Girls, Will Smith, Aqua, Ludacris, Backstreet Boys, Snoop Dogg, S Club 7, Jay-Z, Hanson, Ace of Base, Savage Garden, Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child and many more. $5.

10 pm Twisted Thursdays @ Crawford, 718 College St. Hip-hop, RnB, reggae, trap, and old school with DJ Law. $5

10 pm Different Class @ The Dance Cave (above Lee’s Palace), 529 Bloor St. W. A dance party specializing in dance, rock, new wave, and Britpop. $3.

10 pm Switched On @ Camp 4, 1173 Dundas St. W. Indie rock and campus radio jams with DJs Pammm and Lorna Watkins.

10 pm Smiths Is Dead @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. All Smiths. All Morrissey. All night. First hour will feature a live Smiths or Morrissey set.

10 pm Toux Happy @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. DJs Happy Boy Tona and Metoux kick off Bambi’s two-year anniversary weekend.

10 pm Fat Laces @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJ Big Jimmy Mills, the scratch-monster, spins old school hip-hop.

FRIDAY

10 pm All My Friends @ Smiling Buddha Bar, 961 College St. DJs Mizz Brown and special guest J. Jackson play PARTY MUSIC for trash bags and their friends. NYC underground disco, dance, divas, hip-hop, ’60s-90s soul, rock, R&B, LCD, everything. PWYC.

10 pm Evening Standard @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Everyone’s favourite subterranean dance hovel has now been burning brightly for two years! DJs Members Only help this celebration along by playing those songs made for dancing.

10 pm City Love @ Crawford, 718 College St. Lacey & Tammy blast out hot hip-hop and RnB tunes! $5 before 10:30 pm, more after.

10 pm Girl & Boy 90s Dance Party @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. A pulsating dance party rocking the retro sounds of the 1990s! All your favourite dance, pop, hip-hop, R&B, and so on and so on and so on. $5.

10 pm SoulSkank @ Handlebar, 159 Augusta Ave. Funk, soul, reggae, ska, and dancehall in its most raw form! A vinyl-only dance party with DJs Gramera and Double K on the decks + Dennis P on the sax. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Big Primpin’ @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. Hip-hop and hot times for homos, their friends, and admirers. With DJs Max Mohenu, Craig Dominic, and Phil V. For guestlist, email bigprimpin@gmail.com. $5.

10 pm Pop Lobster: Little Kicks Birthday Edition @ Magpie, 831 Dundas St. W. This extra-special Pop Lobster is a celebration of the DJ who’s there for us every month with her good vibes and badass grooves! She’ll be joined by Digits and special guest ARP 2600. This lobster knows no pop boundaries. You may or may not have the opportunity to dance to the likes of TLC, Pet Shop Boys, Blondie, Destiny’s Child, Nelly, Prince, Britney Spears, Le Tigre, Motown, indie, new wave, disco, and more.

10 pm Yacht Rock @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. A night of dancing to the smoothest music you’ve ever heard in your life. $5 to step aboard.

10 pm Building Blocks @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. DJs Mogpaws and Catalist (filling in for General Eclectic) take you from A to Z of good dance floor music! Funk, soul, reggae, dancehall, disco, hip-hop, Brazilian, Latin, and rock. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Rave Coulier @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. Josh O’Kane and Matt Braga play inexplicable combinations of pop, dance, R&B, and novelty singles – all on vinyl.

10 pm Damaged Goods @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. A Britpop, new wave, and post-punk dance party playing the likes of Pulp, New Order, Blonde, Oasis, Blur, Stone Roses, David Bowie, Simple Minds, My Bloody Valetine, Joy Division, and many, many more. $5.

10 pm Get By Friday @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJs Mantis and Hajah Bug spin hip-hop, funk, soul, and reggae vibes on two turntables with very special guests. All jams all night. $5.

10 pm Dynasty: Glam, Drag & Excess @ The Beaver, 1192 Queen St. W. Brandi Champagne does Mariah while DJ Michael K plays the excess of the ’80s and ’90s. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

SATURDAY

6 pm “Betwixt” Opening Reception @ Goodfellas Gallery, 1266 Queen St. W. “’Betwixt’ casts aside traditional, definitive boundaries of what should and shouldn’t be, and delves into the transient mindscape in between cognitive thought and intuitive emotion. It is an abstract space where ambiguous impressions, ever-evolving ideas and eccentric possibilities bubble to the surface just shy of realization; where nothing can be defined with complete certainty. Experimenting with various materials and techniques, it is the artist’s attempt at presenting tangibility to an otherwise intangible concept – a peek into the ‘in-between.’” Until 9 pm.

8 pm Chicka Boom’s International Women’s Day Show @ Free Times Cafe, 320 College St. An awesome all-female comedy spectacular in celebration of International Women’s Day! Free Times Cafe owner Judy Perly will be making an edible woman (initial models suggest it might be just boobs). Standing-up for equality: Robby Hoffman. Telling the stories that need to be told: Arianne Shaffer. Dancing the good dance: Karen Stern and Jane Danielson. Singing the songs of freedom: Nadine Djoury. Standing-up for your rights: Sandra Battaglini. And your headliner: Naomi Snieckus and Carolyn Taylor of Aunt Joan. Hosted as always by Laura Bailey and Jess Beaulieu. PWYC.

10 pm Hello Brooklyn @ Revival, 783 College St. A tribute to Christopher Wallace (a.k.a. The Notorious B.I.G.) and the music of Medina, presented by The Main Ingredient. With residents Mensa, Agile, and Sean Sax + special guest DJ Neil Armstrong. Limited $10 tickets available online. $15 reduced guestlist before 11:30 pm (email themainingred@gmail.com), $20 after.

10 pm Business Woman’s Special: March Madness @ Round, 152-A Augusta Ave. It’s March. It’s madness. So Business Woman’s Special booked the most insanely fierce queen they know: Tynomi Banks! DJs Sammy Royale and Nino Brown will be spinning all night long. Kimon will make all your photographic desires come true. Drink specials before 11 pm and special shots all night long. $6.

10 pm Mojo Workout @ The Yukon, 1592 Queen St. W. A night of solid soul, greasy rhythm and blues, and real rock ‘n’ roll with DJs Chico, Rumble, and Nico. All vinyl, all choice cuts, all night long.

10 pm The Dirty Hustle @ The Steady, 1051 Bloor St. W. DJs Sun Sun and Vanity Muscles mixin’ it up and keeping you sweaty and grindin’ all night with hip-hop and RnB tunes. $4 Red Stripes and Booty Drops before midnight.

10 pm Songs About Fucking @ The Libertine, 1307 Dundas St. W. Romantic type jams both slow and fast from your boys Adam Jackson and Jeff Hayward.

10 pm Ebony Presents: Bambi’s Anniversary Weekend Finale @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Join DJs Jordan Gardner and Sylvermayne in the celebration of Bambi’s second birthday. Techno, house, friends, a special guest, grillz.

10 pm Lucky Bitches @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Two ice stallions serve it up hot with a glamour-positive party for anyone who knows what it’s like to be a lucky bitch. The guiltiest of pleasures all night: hitz that span the ages, ’90s hip-hop, contemporary hitz, ’80s velvet jamz, forgotten gemz.

10 pm Ignition / Still Fly @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, DJs Caff and The Dirty Frenchman play bumpin’ ‘n’ grindin’ R&B, hip-hop, dancehall, new jack swing, and slow jamz (plus more than enough R. Kelly classics). Downstairs, DJ D-Wiz spins hip-hop, reggae, R&B, and top 40. $5 before 10:30 pm, more after.

10 pm Beam Me Up Disco @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. A Digital Needle DJs and Cyclist deliver a healthy serving of funky and soulful disco, disco-rap, boogie, and other aural oddities primed to make you groove! $10.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Spend the night together with the Bangs & Blush ladies! ’60s pop, soul and rock ‘n’ roll to drink, dance, and get messy to. $5.

10 pm Funk Off @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Get down to music of the funk variety! TNT on the tunes. $5.

10 pm Radioactive Dreams @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. Records spin, emitting soul, new wave, and power pop. With DJ Cool Adam and MC Baked Bri.

10:30 pm The Brthdy Prty @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. Who doesn’t love a birthday party?! Music provided by DJs Style of Tigers and RVM. Cupcake hour provided by Baken Toronto. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

11 pm Shake A Tail @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. ’60s pop, rock, soul, funk, garage, ska, ANYTHING! Always humid. $5.

11 pm Over & Over @ Location TBA. A disco dance! With DJs Pooyan, Ali Black, and Andycapp. Goes late.

11 pm Racks & Bands 1 Year Anniversary @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. For the past year, Racks & Bands has watched you twerk, drop it like it’s hot, and put your back into it. On March 8, they are going innnn. Community 54 has made surprise merch for homies who want to rep and, as usual, DJs Johnny Hockin and Vanity Muscles will motivate the winin’ and grindin’ with only the hottest in current rap, RnB, dancehall, and trap. $10.

SUNDAY

7 pm Poetry Slam @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Local wordsmiths and performers provide an evening of spoken word, lyrical mastery, and friendly competition before an always packed house. $80 goes to the best performance of the night. Sign-up starts at 7:30 pm. $5.

7 pm Brass Facts Trivia @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Test your knowledge and win prizes! Hosted by Famous Kirk Hero. Until 10 pm.

10 pm It Was All A Dream: Biggie Smalls Tribute Night @ Cold Tea, 60 Kensington Ave. On March 9, 1997, the music industry lost a true icon. 17 years later, as a tribute to the one and only Notorious B.I.G., Diggy the DJ will be playing a special set of his music – including remixes, features, mashups, and unreleased material.

~ For event submissions, email Caitlyn Holroyd at caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com