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"Lady love is something wonderful."

An Open Letter to (Most) Women who Identify as “One of the Guys”

Stop it.

No.

No, you are not one of the guys.

When I was ten, heading off to school in a hand-me-down Power Rangers sweat shirt, destroying my friend Joel with my Blasetoise-anchored Pokémon trading card game deck, and rocking my bowl-cut – that was tomboyish.  If any girl could be “one of the guys,” trust me – I had three brothers; I earned in through hours of N64 and years of uncomfortably ambiguous clothing and hair decisions.  I’ve still always had girlfriends.

I hear your retorts of, “I just get along with guys better!”

First off: that should not be a thing that you boast about.  Women are awesome.  They are unbelievable.  Two weeks ago I went to the hospital with a super-gross, woke-up-the-neighbours-loud, “Exorcist”-style flu.  When I came home, my friend Ashley was beyond worried about me.  She kept insisting that she walk over to my house to bring me soup, despite the fact that she herself had a violent flu.  I insisted that she stay in bed, and she kept worrying.  This ends in a pre-paid cab driver showing up at my place at midnight with a paper bag reading “I love you,” full of frozen homemade soups.  That’s how much Ashley loves me. That is beyond any kind of love I have ever done anything to deserve.  That is the kind love you only get from a lady.  Lady love is something wonderful.

If you were really “one of the guys,” you’d already know that.  How many times have you been sitting around with the boys, watching hockey, drinking beers, and chatting about how you never, ever want to have to be around women?  You might riff on the differences between men and women like you’re a bunch of ’90s stand-ups.  Here’s the thing though:  Those guys still like women.  They like them so much they date them.  Even if they date boys, they still have women they love in their life. What does that tell you?  A man who has it in his DNA to be with other men still has female friends. You don’t.

Let’s explore that, shall we? Are you overly-competitive with other women? Do you see another woman’s success as your failure?  Do you “just get along better with guys” because you’re bad to other women?

Please don’t think of this as an attack on you, rather a wakeup call.  You are cheating yourself out of some of the best love in the world.  Guys are great.   The “Relationship” section of this website can back that up with AMPLE evidence of the depths of their love (and the “Sex Confessionals” is also a testament to how great they are). I’m just saying, you need to give other women another chance; we’ll be more than happy to hear your side over copious pitchers of sangria.

Love (for real),

Alice

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