Chew like you have a secret!

It’s February, aka the most bitter, wretched month of the year that reaches a tepid peak somewhere near Valentine’s Day. In other words, I’m cold and tired of it. So what’s a girl to do, besides carrying a flask of vodka in her coat pocket? (Note: avoid on first dates lest you wake up in a foreign bedroom). Keep a secret. Thinking back to the awkward and intense years that were grades 5 through 9, it seems like every day a new secret was unleashed and wielded in order to cause tears, sulking or the slamming of doors. And that was just my grade 6 teacher… Ahhh, secrets. Whether they’re causing my blood to boil or run cold, they’re always good for a rush.

Blair Waldorf, the Heathers and I all know one thing and that is this: Secrets = information = power. Sure, they may gnaw at your stomach lining, keeping you awake at night, but that’s only before you reconcile the fact that you have information that can be used to your advantage. Acknowledge and accept this and you’ll be smiling like Mona in no time. Whether you pine for a friend’s caliente boyfriend, have done squeamish things to a bitchy hostess’ toothbrush or have shared more than coffee with the IT guy, nothing melts the winter blahs like the warmth of a juicy secret. It’s tempting to spill the beans, especially for those who are used to sharing the minutiae of their day with friends or colleagues, but resist the urge! In a society that has been exposed to Britney’s Britney and barely blinked, you may be surprised how empowering it feels to withhold information. With every secret I keep under wraps (whether mundane or scintillating), it feels like I am being loyal to a good friend—myself. Nothing bolsters one’s confidence like walking into a party with a secret up one’s sleeve (or neatly tucked into her clutch). Sure you’ll never share your goods, but fantasizing about if you did will give you the strength to endure any encounter. (Again, stay clear of the flask lest you do tell someone…) Now, what could be so tantalizing that it inspired an entire article? That’s a secret I’ll never tell.

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