by Sam Banack

I know that one is real, one is fictional, but there’s a lot of crossover in their personalities…. So some of these gifts are for the girl, some the legend, and some just kick enough ass that anyone would love ’em

1. Bone Socks
It may be cliché to get socks for Christmas… but these ones are fucking cool –
From Anatomical Chart Company
Price: $14.95
Where: http://anatomical.com

2. Double Agent Headphones/MP3 Player

Look Mom! No Wires! Skull Candy is great line of personal music device accessories… and with these they took it a step further, putting the storage capacity right into the headphones…plus, there are bitchin’ colour schemes to choose from. I think these would be right up the alley of the girl who brought Kimya Dawson to the Juno soundtrack.

From Skull Candy
Price: $99.95
Where: http://www.skullcandy.com/shop/double-agent-p-86.html

3. A 12-month subscription to Candyphile

Forget licorice rope and Sunny D to quell your sweet tooth, this candy-of-the-month club scours the land for cottage industry sweet-makers and sends them straight to your door. I would be sure to include founder Lollyphile’s own creation, the maple bacon lollypop in the stocking. Perfect for the candy loving Canadian.

From Lollyphile
Price: 4 months-$96, 6 months-$120, 12 months-$204
Where: http://www.lollyphile.com/candyphile.php

4. Locher’s Embroidered Tees (photofile = look9_1)
Sweet, with a side of Sass – Locher’s is the go-to for a dash of cute that’ll help you get away with a dollop of naughty…. My personal favourite is the ‘I Ain’t Your Fuckin’ Sweetheart,’ but for my Ms. Page I think I would have to go with the "I Hate Children’ if not just for the irony… gift certificates are also available.

From Locher’s
Price: $65
Where: www.lochers.com

5.Mortified: Love is a Battlefield by David Nagelberg

This book is a follow up to last years Mortified book (which I gave Ellen for last Christmakwanzakkah… it was awesome) these books collect diary entries, letters, and artwork from volunteers from around the world (think postsecret.com) but the added twist is… these people are pulling this out of the past. Uncovering old boxes in the basement, journals locked away for decades… it’s a great laugh to share over eggnog and latkes… like me and Ellen do every year…
From Mortified
Price: 10.95+
Where: www.amazon.ca

6. Lulu In Hollywood by Louise Brooks

And because Ellen is the smartypants-in-Hollywood type I would also get her a copy of Lulu in Hollywood, written by Louise Brooks in 1982, after she made her last film, and just three years before her death… Another smart cookie in the City of Angels, Brooks shocked everyone in this book, reaching all the way back into her silent film career and casting a witty and critical eye on Humphrey Bogart, W.C. Fields, Greta Garbo, Lillian Gish, and Charlie Chaplin. You can find it on amazon or indigo’s websites… but for my girl Ellen, I am gonna get the second printing signed copy off The Strand Bookstore website’s fine and rare editions section
From The Strand
Price: Varies
Where: http://www.strandbooks.com

7. Platypus E-Cards

A green gift in the virtual stocking – An E-Card from Platypus will cheer Ellen’s day and help save her planet… and yours. Platypus just launched and the concept is great. You send adorable animated e-cards to friends and family with donations that get invested into carbon offsetting programs like windfarms. They are available for purchase in any amount and there is even a carbon emission calculator on the site so you can give someone the exact amount they use!

From Platypus
Where: http://www.platypus-cards.com

8. Toronto Public Library Tote Bag

Price: $2.00
Where: Libraries everywhere, or steal one of the 12 in your parent’s basement

9. BDG Striped Winterlite Crew

Perfect for layering

From BDG
Price: $14.99
Where: www.urbanoutfitters.com

10. "Aloe Vera" Biodegradable Liquid Body Cleanser

Endorsed by Brad Pitt, fellow acting icon, the entire bottle biodegrades, and the proceeds from sales go to green iniatives. Perfect for keeping the fresh face, and conscious, of an ingenue clean.

From Kiehl’s
Price: $16.50
Where: Kiehl’s stores, www.kiehls.com for locations

11. White Mountain Manual Ice Cream Maker

From White Mountain
Price: $149.95
Where: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/

12. Fraggle Rock: The Complete First Season

Price: $24.99
Where: www.amazon.ca