Full disclosure: I have come to hate dating and I blame this whole-heartedly on that Tindy app.
Now I’ve deleted my Tinder account before. I met a guy or got too busy or simply forgot to log on for months at a time. I’ve deleted it and gotten it back. I’ve matched with people I never spoke to, and spoke to people I never met. I met some people but most of them weren’t my type.
I have had a couple of Tinder success stories. Well, one. I’ve had one. And perhaps I need to accept that was where my Tinder success was supposed to start and stop for the time being.
I wish I didn’t feel this way; I wish I still enjoyed getting to know someone over a [sometimes free] pint. I wish this was still fun for me, because at one point it was. I soon realized this time just happened to be pre-Tinder dates. Tinder has turned me off of dating. And I’m finally accepting that perhaps that’s okay. Perhaps Tinder simply isn’t for everyone (or at least not all the time).
It’s like, you catch up with your girlfriends and you know you’re gonna chat about boys at some point, so you feel the need to have something to say. You feel like you’re supposed to have updates. So you force yourself to get some. If you haven’t hit on any bartenders lately or met any hot young businessmen on the streetcar, what else is one to do? Where else are you supposed to look but online? It’s the natural (or at least the most attainable) next step. So you upload a photo and write a funny quip and start swiping.
But what I’ve learned about myself is this just isn’t my dating style. If I’m not already genuinely excited about the person before the date, it gets inevitably sabotaged. I mean, I know it’s my fault that none of these dates have worked out. A lot of it has to do with it not being a match, sure. But I’m realizing an equal amount of it has to do with my closed mind. I know this, and it sucks. BUT. Maybe it’s okay. Maybe I’m just not meant to be an online dater.
I might not have any boy updates but maybe that’s fine. And everything happens for a reason. And if I’m unintentionally sabotaging every date I’m supposed to go one, maybe there’s a reason and maybe it’s okay to listen to that.
I went on a Tinder date a week ago that sucked so much I asked for the bill mid-meal while he was in the bathroom. “Soo should we settle up then?” I asked, frowning at the bill in front of us. I. Could. Not. Wait. To. Leave. And that sucks! I even felt quite guilty about disliking this person so much but remind myself that perhaps Tinder just isn’t doing it for me.
I like having a guy around. I do. When it’s a guy I’m genuinely into. I like that feeling of your phone ringing and he’s calling and he wants to come see you and you’re like mm yeah okay I guess I have time but inside you’re screaming and crying with joy that THEY WANT TO SEE YOU because YOU WANT TO SEE THEM TOO!
Like, yeah. I like that feeling. But I don’t feel like I need it yet and I don’t like it enough to warrant putting time and effort into all these people I know I’m going to psych myself up to hate anyway.
So, friends. My boy updates might stop for the time being. I may not have any date stories where I make a joke and he doesn’t get it and I get really awkward and talk myself into a hole. I’m swiping left to dates and right to FRIENDS, SLEEP AND HOME COOKED MEALS!
And I could not be happier about this.