Q: I don’t live in the same city as some of my bridal party and family members. How do I make them feel involved in the planning process when we can’t be together?

A: Whether near or far, it can be tough to remember to keep close family and friends involved in the planning of your day. You may feel like you don’t want to bother them with details, or perhaps you’re the type who doesn’t like to relinquish control?? Hmmm?? There is definitely an extra challenge when you’re far flung from your loved ones, but feeling like an integral part of the big day has a lot to do with feeling like an integral part of the lead-up. The best possible way to get connected is to delegate a task to each bridesmaid/sister/parent (bonus if it’s something you have zero interest in investigating yourself). Some ideas…

Low-key: Have your little sis find the perfect live music for the ceremony

Hardcore: If (and only if) you have deep trust in her knowledge of your taste, have her select the songs you will walk down the aisle to; it could add a touching surprise element to the day.

Low-key: Have your mom seek out your something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new.

Hardcore: Let her hand-craft at least one of these items.

Low-key: Have your Food Network-obsessed BFF create a signature cocktail for the evening.

Hardcore: Let her design (probably best with the help of a professional) a hilarious themed cake.

Even if oceans divide you, you can absolutely keep your close crew involved in every step of the way. Be sure to take snap shots and videos at things like venue visits, and dress fittings and share them online right away. Perhaps you could also send your bridesmaids a weekly email update as to what is completed and what is yet to be done, including some attachments of things you love, or items you are considering for the big day. Luckily it’s easier than ever to stay connected (what did brides do before the internet??), but more than likely the best ladies in your life will be touched that you are trying and will be thrilled to be involved in any way they can.

~ Ali Maldoff