It all kicked off this weekend and is going full steam ahead. This Pride is gonna be a scorcher, and I don’t just mean that feeling in your pants a week later. It’s gonna be hot, sweaty, and drunken (among other things). Ahead is a guide of Daytona Bitch‘s “Do’s and Don’ts” so you can have a safe, fun and fabulous time at Pride.
DO: Be polite to people on the street.
DON’T: Plan on getting anywhere fast via any major streets. Too many people to bump into, say hi to, or just plain navigate around.
DO: Enjoy the local merchants out on the street and shop for silly, dirty, and fabulous things.
DON’T: Sign up for a bank account. NOW IS NOT THE TIME!
DO: Look around at all the beautiful half-naked, and naked bodies.
DON’T: Stare without blinking.
DON’T: Touch strangers.
DO: Bring your ID.
DON’T: Rely on the fact that you look like a bag after a week of drinking. You need your ID.
DO: Buy a vast amount of liquor and snacks for your house. Sometimes the party switches gears and people want to drink somewhere casual.
DON’T: Pre-drink so hard you don’t buy a single thing at the bar. Loitering is annoying. And no night caps after. These only hurt more the next day.
DO: Pace yourself. This thing lasts a full week. You don’t want to spend the rest of it bedridden because you went too hard for too long.
DON’T: Drink all day and sleep all night. While partying is part of it, it’s not ALL of it! You’ll be pissed after getting too pissed.
DO: Tip the drag queens.
DON’T: Tip the drag queens with Canadian Tire money, change or advice.
DO: Bring Water. Bring a sippy cup. Everyone is drinking, let’s not lie to ourselves.
DON’T: Drink rum out of a beer can. How’d it get in there. What else is in there.
DO: Take everything that’s free. #FreePride
DON’T: Throw it on the damn street. Glitter, don’t litter.
DO: Water fight with inexpensive water guns and your friends.
DON’T: Gasoline fight with strangers and their kids. (We’ve all seen Zoolander)
DO: Wear sunscreen with high SPF.
DON’T: Wear butter.
DO: Get your tickets in advance! This is World Pride. If you’re planning on going to a big Prism party, Pitbull, or anything else, get there first.
DON’T: Forget about line ups. Don’t tell your friends you’re going out to the bar and lead them to a line up half way down the street. That is not the same thing as going to a bar. Remember the thing about tickets in advance? Plan your nights out too.
DO: Take a photo with your favourite drag queen.
DON’T: Take twelve photos.
DON’T: Touch my hair.
DON’T: Touch my face.
DON’T: Kiss my mouth.
DON’T: Proposition me for sex.
DO: Dress in light clothes to stay cool.
DON’T: Bring a coat, or bag. Unless you’re ready to lose a coat or bag.
DO: BRING CASH!
DON’T: Pay for one domestic beer with a prepaid Visa card you found in a machine at Loblaws. Bartenders hate this. There are plenty of people with cash they’d rather be serving.
DO: BE SAFE. No glove, no love.
DON’T: Run off with strangers. It’s lovely to meet new friends, but try to incorporate new friends and lovers into your existing group—if you somehow finish the night sans wallet and with a bit of pee on your shoes, you want to be among friends, non?
DO: Buy some roasted corn.
DON’T: Wait until 12:00am to buy roasted corn.
DO: Enjoy yourself.
DON’T: Touch me.
Above all things, Remember to have a safe and happy Pride. And if you see me out on the street… leave me alone… or give me 5 dollars. HAPPY PRIDE!