Help, I’m Obsessed With Lady Head Vases

I have a problem. The problem is shaped like a lady’s head, and it is a vase. My problem is lady head vases. Right now, the only thing I am more obsessed with than lady head vases is this photoset I found on Tumblr of Kirsten Dunst HARD eating a salad while Jake Gylenhaal looks moody and pensive and a bit perplexed beside her. In my mind, these things are perfect. They’re kitschy, creepy, cute and functional all at once. I mean, look at them:

From Etsy, $48

Just wonderful. Some background on head vases, courtesy of antiqueheadvases.com (real site): apparently they were popular during the 1950s (like everything else I’d like to use to decorate my home), and were basically a cutesy scam on behalf of florist shops to sell expensive bouquets with fewer flowers in them, due to the tiny openings in the heads of these ladies. They came in all kinds of sizes and shapes, depicting famous people, whimsical characters, sassy broads, and fictional figures. I want to own every single one of them. A quick Etsy search reveals that the average head vase will set you back between $40 and $80, depending on factors that collectors understand and I do not.

From Etsy, $50. 

I just know that if I don’t nip this problem in the bud right now, soon my house will be full of head vases, all clustered together to look like they’re having conversations about the different types of flowers slowly dying on their heads. Is anyone with me on this? Should we all just get a bunch of lady head vases and have afternoon groups where we buy each other flowers and make them talk to each other?? Am I going nuts? Call me.

From Etsy, $53. 

Header image from EBay, $200 for the pair.

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