Periods, menopause, abortion…there are so many facets of women’s health that are intrinsic parts of our lives, but for some reason, are still not represented meaningfully on our screens. While an estimated 10-20% of pregnancies result in miscarriage, it remains underrepresented in films and TV—especially narratives told from the perspective of the character having a miscarriage.

But in Jessica Hinkson’s newest short film, FML (Fuck My Life), miscarriage is at the centre of the story. As Cassie returns home to visit her parents, with the buzz of a party unfolding downstairs, she hurries to the bathroom, leaving her blood-soaked clothes in the tub. As she experiences a miscarriage, we see flashes of her grief and her pain, but the film is also punctuated by comedic respites—like her mother repeatedly entering the bathroom, shocked by the blood, but still plying her with snacks and water.

“Miscarriages can happen at any time and place; that’s a fact. But I hadn’t seen my own experience represented on camera,” says Hinkson. Like the character in her film, Hinkson’s miscarriage happened on a visit home to her parents. “I did not plan on getting pregnant, nor would I have wanted to be…having the event unfold the way it did, felt like dark humour, as three people tried to navigate something so horrible. It was absurd, ironic, even comical.”

While neither Cassie nor her mother directly acknowledges what is happening, the film captures the range of emotions that can come along with the experience—confusion, shame, pain, guilt—even down to relatable details such as googling what a miscarriage feels like. For Hinkson, making a film inspired by her own experiences was empowering—both on a personal and professional level. “Sharing stories that matter, especially women-centric ones about real experiences that shape and mould our life journey, means a lot to me,” she says. 

FML was created as part of The Comedy Igniter, a one-month filmmaking challenge for women and non-binary creatives in Canada. Over the course of four weeks, participants take their short comedy film from conception to completion, with the support of industry mentors, workshops, and team-building opportunities. “For me, the Comedy Igniter was an affirming and empowering reminder that we can truly create something we love with fellow creatives we love. It was a reminder of why I love indie film,” Hinkson says. 

Hinkson shares that FML is now being developed into a comedic web series, and her life will continue to inspire the story—including her experiences as a stepmother. The series will centre on a stepmother and stepdaughter as they try to figure out their relationship. 

“Stepma over-tries, overwhelms, overdoes it all. She hasn’t done this before. She doesn’t have a uterus, and clearly, she has no kids, but in her earnest, whole-hearted attempts to build a relationship with her stepdaughter…it all kinda goes wrong until it goes right,” Hinkson says. 

Until the series is brought to life, with the short film out now on CBC Gem, Hinkson hopes viewers can feel seen by her portrayal of miscarriage.

“I hope that there are people who feel represented and relate to this POV. To know that their experience matters and that there is a place for it,” she says. “Perhaps they can unhook themselves from the negative idea that it was wrong for them not to want to be pregnant, and along with the rage, grief, and shame, there was relief, and that is okay.”

FML (Fuck My Life) is now streaming on CBC Gem’s Canadian Reflections.