by Tanya Scholes
The old adage ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ couldn’t be more appropriate than when referring to one of Canada’s edgiest Comedians, Nikki Payne. I mean, for a woman who has duct taped her boobs and her head to demonstrate a do-it-yourself simultaneous boob and face lift on Last Comic Standing; been known to say that her show is ‘not exactly intellectual comedy’ but ‘a whole lot of @%$&ing humping’ going on; and whose mouth, when on stage, is so dirty that even I, one with much ‘fuck tolerance’, tend to feel like a puritanical prude. Needless to say when I met the genteel Nikki Payne for tea, Nikki must have thought I had some strange ailment as I kept slapping myself to wake up from what seemed like an inconceivable reverie. But a dream it was not. I soon found out that Nikki Payne, despite often being the Queen of Controversy on-stage, off-stage is a lady through and through. Seriously. She even (hold on to your seats) practices Tai Chi (i.e. meditative exercise for the body to foster a calm and tranquil mind = NO humping) and gets dressed to the nines to enjoy ‘High Tea’. Oh, what complex we humans are.  

After about 2 minutes into our conversation, I had completely forgotten about my prejudiced convictions that were based on the vulgar, wild woman of the stage, as we connected over commonalities like two dear (and civilized!) girlfriends. 

Nikki Payne grew up in Sackville, NB in less than affluent surroundings. When it came time to enroll in post-secondary education, she says she ‘chickened out’ from applying to study theatre as her instincts had been urging her and instead, enrolled in the general Arts program at Dalhousie University. Realizing that this wasn’t her calling, she dropped out and eventually enrolled in a Recreational Leadership program in Truro, NS. There, Nikki indulged her fellow students with her uninhibited humour as the school mascot. When Simon B. Cotter (better known as the ‘Comedian King of the College Circuit’) visited the Truro campus, Nikki’s friends urged her to perform in front of him. These five minutes may have just been the longest five minutes of her life, but also possibly, the most important (despite the fact that Nikki told me she would NEVER want to see that performance again, under any circumstances). 

This pivotal point was Nikki’s initiation into the world of stand-up comedy, but it wouldn’t be another year and a half, post-graduation, when she would take the plunge and get on stage in Montreal for her first open mic. At that point, Nikki thought that her little adventure would provide her with some good stories to reminisce about with friends and family. Full stop. She admits now that she had no idea what she was getting herself into or how much she would get off on the adrenaline brought on by taking risks on stage. Knowing what she was doing or not knowing what she was doing worked either way. Her self-deprecating and dirty humour was a hit and Nikki continued to ride the humour high to Toronto where she enrolled in a 1-week intensive course at Humber’s School of Comedy. It was here that notorious Mark Breslin (better known for being the founder of Yuk Yuk’s Comedy Club) told Nikki that she could make a living at this. Now you just can’t get better validation than that.  

And that was 10 years ago and Nikki Payne hasn’t looked back. 

Of course, Nikki’s on-stage persona has evolved over time and gradually shifted away from degrading herself with regards to her imperfections. This isn’t to say that Nikki’s on-stage persona has become a reflection on anything but her own personal experience. On the contrary, her comedic inspiration still comes from real life and real situations, the only difference being that while she humourously acknowledges what some may consider physical shortcomings (such as poking fun at her lisp and how it’s not the ‘shhhhexiest trait to have as a phone shhhhhex operator’), she is never a victim to them or of them. What Nikki puts out there, on stage are the real life thoughts that many of us have had in our heads…but just DON’T SAY OUT LOUD. What is said and goes on on-stage can seem quite over the top, but Nikki says that everything in her act is inspired by taking every day occurrences and dialing them up a notch (kind of like a notch of about 200 decibels). And while Nikki does say abominable things out loud, she acknowledges that she could not really go around humping things 24 hours a day or incorporating the word ‘fuck’ so vigorously into her vernacular or she’d probably be living an unbelievably lonely life…in a nut house. And it is doubtful the nutters are able to enjoy High Tea, so that seems like reason enough to keep the dirt on stage.

And so I asked the seemingly fearless Nikki where the hell she gets the guts to do what she does on stage (thinking that there’s got to be a whole lot of liquid courage being consumed, which there actually IS NOT in any way, shape or form!!). The reality is that to this day, there is a little part of Nikki that still gets petrified to go on stage and has even been known to demonstrate the ‘how to’s’ of pre-stage puking.

This, in some strange way, was comforting. Somehow knowing that even one of the gutsiest gals I’ve ever met has been known to chuck made me feel just a little bit better of my body’s own reaction to nerves (even though mine could be brought on by standing in front of a classroom full of 5 year olds and not 200 people that were expecting me to make a joke).  

Yes indeed, there is a vulnerable side to Nikki Payne that most people aren’t privy to. Nor are they likely aware of the kind heart and giving personality she has demonstrated through her work with AboutFace (aboutfaceinternational.org), an organization that supports individuals with facial differences. In her true, humourous form, Nikki joked to me that when she spoke at the Inspiration 2007 conference she was actually suffering from Bell’s Palsy which gave her audience 2 facial differences for the price of 1! Although Nikki doesn’t pretend to have the magic formula of how to get through the difficulties of being different and the toll it can take on one’s self-esteem and self-worth, Nikki does offer two pieces of advice that is really quite applicable to all people: 

1. Remember – you can do anything that you want to do in life no matter where you came from or what you look like and don’t let anyone tell you or convince you differently

2. At some point, you have to let go of anger and change your attitude about yourself or your situation to positively affect change in your life

In my opinion, that’s pretty good advice from a woman who had some tough times at the school of hard knocks but is living proof of rising above any boundaries put in place by anyone but herself. 

Nikki is a ‘stand up’ gal on so many levels. Most recently she’s come to the beckon call of her dad who desperately needed a kidney transplant so she willingly gave him one of hers (they are both recovering extremely well). She is currently on tour and has a once-in-a-lifetime trip planned with her mom when that finishes up. When she returns, you will find Nikki hanging out in Roncesvalles, drinking tea at Alternative Grounds Coffee House (www.alternativegrounds.com), brunching at Easy (www.easybreakfast.ca) or Aris Place (229 Roncesvalles) or enjoying a casual dinner at the Red Room (444 Spadina Avenue). If Nikki decides to treat herself to a little decadence, she might indulge in a spa treatment at Sukha Health Spa (www.sukhahealthspa.com) and savour some Neuhaus Chocolates  (available in Holt Renfrew’s Epicure Shop). And when she’s not on stage making people laugh, you’ll most likely find Nikki Payne behaving herself, and in bed by 11PM. 

It is obvious that Nikki Payne came into this world to live and to live out loud -which is exactly what she is doing, on-stage and off.  

For more information on Nikki Payne’s performances, visit www.nikkipayne.com or join the Nikki Payne Facebook Fan Page.