Uninspired? Broke? Lazy?!? This Hallowe’en season, look past the Amy Winehouse beehives, the Snooki poufs (you know everyone’s going to be Snooki) and the Michael Jackson masks. Quirky cultural statement-costumes of all kinds are quickly becoming all the rage this Hallowe’en, so we invite you to steal our ideas and wait for the impressed reactions you will get to the question “What are you?”.

1. Rob-F*&%cing-Ford
I choke back tears as I write this, but an all-out Mayor Rob Ford costume may be just the ticket (on the gravy train) to cement this new reality into the minds of people in the downtown core. Who knew so many people would vote in the burbs? Who knew. Stuff a blue button down dress shirt with a pillow, wear an ornamental dollar-store lei a la his victory speech, spray your hair orange and your face red, and say the words “did you just call me a fat fuck?” over and over in a nasally yelp. Oh, don’t forget to push cyclists over as they ride by you, and eat tons of KFC’s Double Downs throughout the night for added affect.

2. Antoine Dodson
It’s all about the world’s favorite new gay dude this year, the one, the only Antoine Dodson! What started as an impromptu newscast rant turned into the hottest accidental music video, and now has reached a more solidified pop-culture status from performing on the recent BET awards. Sometimes known as The Bed Intruder Rapper, Antoine merch is all over the Internet and a wide selection of Hallowe’en costumes from the authentic to the woof-tastic. Or for a laid back approach, buy an Antoine-flavoured T-Shirt, Hooded Sweatshirt, Bracelet, Bandanna or Coffee Mug to use and wear way past Hallowe’en and beyond. Call me naive, but I hope he’s financially benefiting at least a little from all of this, or has a great lawyer. Get it while you can folks, and hawk it on eBay in 30 years!

2. Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
The inspiration for this next costume has been something I’ve found comfort as a late night pick-me-up, a coffee break laugh-fest, or an ice-breaker with new friends. I’m talking about Marcel the Shell with Shoes On and if you haven’t seen this video yet, have you been living inside a snail shell or something? A great piece of authentic creative genius which deserves it’s viral fame, unlike some douche bags we may know of. Marcel has hot pink sneakers, one big eye and an overall beige tone to him, as well as a voice you will most likely never be able to copy perfectly but can at least try. I would recommend wearing any hot pink shoes you can find like Converse Allstars, or painting an existing pair with neon pink spray paint you can find at Wal-Mart or hardware stores. Pair with white knee socks. If you’re keen on the DIY stuff, you could probably make a pretty kick-ass shell body out of paper mache and wire, or fabric. If not, check out costume shops for anything brown big and round with a pointed tip, like a cookie costume or a pumpkin and either paint or drawn on a big spiral to indicate a shell shape. If the costume is round, bunch one side of it together for a pointed look. Also look for as plain of a mask you can find, and paint it to look like one big googly eye, with a huge black pupil. Or you could always cut two eyeholes and one for the mouth on part of the shell, and make a faux eye to attach to the side, to keep it authentic.

3. Double Rainbow
Dress up like a hippie’s dream and be a Double Rainbow. Lots of possibilities for this one. This dude’s got it going on though. Wear every single brightly coloured item you have all at once and paint two rainbows on your face. Or you can paint two large rainbows on an old cardboard box or bristol board, get an old sweater and cut 4 corresponding holes in the sides, 2 on each side, for the rainbows to slip through. If you have wire or chopsticks or anything like that, you can tape them to the backs of the rainbows for added strength. You probably want the rainbows behind your arms for optimal mobility, so make sure to cut the holes in the right place. Got some money to spare but no time? Buy one lovely rainbow, or two. Or make all of your friends (and strangers) ROFL and wear this fucked up hat.

4. Still need some ideas? Impress the Star Wars fans in your life and buy or copy this hilarious Slutty Wookie costume. As an end note, I would like to share with you possibly my favorite Celebrity Couples Hallowe’en Costume of all time.

By Becca Lemire