by Tanya Scholes
Most of us have been there. It’s the morning after an extremely ‘new’ romantic interlude (like a couple hours new), when nature suddenly calls. Prayers for a septic system miracle go unanswered as the inevitable looms – please, please, not here! Not now! Just stay ‘put’ until I get home or AT LEAST out this apartment before the bomb drops.

Yes, this can be a make or break moment when you are trying to be on your best behavior after the tryst of the night before.

Last night…good. This morning…bad.

But when nature calls, it calls. And if it REALLY calls, one can be left in a precarious ‘poodicament’ where extreme measures must be taken to salvage the ‘sealed deal’ of the previous night.

If luck has been on your (back) side and you’ve never found yourself in this type of ‘compromising’ position, all you need to do is check-out the #1 YouTube video, ‘A True Poo Story’, like 5,501,020 others have and you will be scared shitless to go to the loo at a date’s house. Or, perhaps you’ll look at the person you’ve just spent the night with, graciously inviting them to let themselves out – what really went on when you closed the door and headed off to work?

I recently met with Renée Percy, the woman who hilariously depicted our very worst poo plug nightmare in the viral video. While fecal matter seems to be a common on-screen theme for Renee, having also recently starred in an Imodium commercial, there is so much more to this talented actor, writer and sketch comic. There’s even a little ninja in her.

Renée Percy was born into a family of artists – her mom was a dancer and her dad, a musician. She began her creative path at the Etobicoke School of the Arts and chose acting over karate (she actually holds a 2nd degree Black Belt). At the age of 10, her mother took her to audition for the Canadian hit, Degrassi High. The producers thought she was too young. The following year, she tried again, only to be told the same thing. While they say that three times’ a charm, it was likely the cheeky response she wrote on her audition sheet quoting Degrassi High’s band, The Zit Remedy, “Everybody wants something, they’ll never give up’ that got her cast immediately as Pipi. Of her character Pipi, Renee says, “I hardly had any lines, but I walked the halls like nobody’s business.”

After her Degrassi days were over, Renée was accepted into University of Toronto Honors Program with a Specialty in Drama and Minor in English. Further, Renée auditioned for the department’s Master Class and was accepted to an elite group of 7 students who, after graduation, went on to tour with the school’s visiting German Director on a 12 stop European tour and performed on some of the most famous stages that had seen revered thespians perform in the past. Renée says that this amazing tour is still a highlight of her career – or in her words, “everything else has been downhill since then.” Hardly.

Upon her return, Renée toured in the US doing children’s theatre. It was actually her touring schedule that plummeted her into her first stand-up experience, which you could say brought Renée to a whole new level of comedic craft. To appease a friend, she accepted a dare to perform 10 MINUTES of stand-up at the Lab Cab at Factory Theatre (insane for a first time on stage) solely because she knew she’d already be on tour and wouldn’t be able to honour the challenge. Secretly, she swept the dare under the carpet and forgot all about it. That is until her tour got postponed and she received a call from the Lab Cab the night before she was to perform – confirming her participation and informing her that there would be no mic on stage for her routine (I’d say if I was in Renee’s shoes I’d be having my own IBS issues about now…10 MINUTES…I can’t even teach a class of ESL students without puking). Needless to say, she pulled it off with the help of a megaphone and some racy material about firemen – which I’ll leave to your imagination – and had one of her best performances ever.

Since then, Renée’s career has rocketed to include writing for Canada’s #1 comedy show in the country, Air Farce Live, as well as Comedy Inc. She has also appeared on the Comedy Network and CTV in her Comedy NOW! Special “Women of the Night”, and as a series regular in the hit sketch comedy show Comedy Inc., amongst countless other commercials and of course, the daddy of them all, ‘Sure Lock: A True Poo Story’, which has touched us all intimately, in deep, dark places.

When she’s not penning her comedic stylings, on-air causing us to do mini-pees from laughing so hard or hamming it up in L.A. plugging for her own sit-com (she has my vote!), Renee leads a normal life with her boyfriend David (who I actually went to grade school with – what in the?!) and their Maltese puppy, Wesley (named affectionately after the character in The Princess Bride…As…You…Wish!). A perfect Saturday often includes brunch at Le Petit Dejeuner (191 King St. East www.petitdejeuner.ca), a walk in the Beaches and a stop for ice-cream at Ed’s Real Scoop (2224 Queen St. East) and a picnic in the park. Afterwards, Renée and her Producer/Performer boyfriend would indulge in sushi, of course. Favourite sushi spots include Blowfish (668 King St. West www.blowfishrestaurant.com), where Renee says they make unbelievable martinis, or Hiro Sushi (171 King St. E). If not sushi, Renee says she enjoys hanging out at Insomnia, another favourite (563 Bloor St. West www.insomniacafe.com). Of course, the day would be ultra perfect if she scratched a lottery ticket and won a million dollars, was booked for a major feature film, directed by Judd Apatow and off to shoot in Venice, Italy.

Renée is the kind of girl that you want to hang out with. She seems just like mad fun and I might venture to say she’d try anything once, like – bungee jumping off the highest bungee jump in the world and wearing her knuckles down to the bone in a bull riding contest against genuine Mexican cowboys, only to win $100. And while she may have been overlooked to host So You Think You Can Dance Canada (big mistake!), Renée’s definitely got something big in her future – I’m seeing Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kristen Wiig, Parker Posey and Judy Greer-big!

Let’s just hope it’s not so big, it doesn’t flush!

To view the infamous ‘Sure Lock: A True Poo Story’ click here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=aikg6OP3jwU

For more information on the comedic stylings of the fabulous Renée Percy, please visit www.reneepercy.com

Look out for Renée staring in Comedy Inc. beginning this Fall and watch out for her new animated pilot, Nunchucks on Teletoon.

Go to www.ccavoting.com to vote for Renee Percy’s ‘Sure Lock: A True Poo Story’ for the Canadian Comedy Awards in the pretty funny web clip category!