As the salt seeps into my freshly cracked soles and the minute hand ticks closer and closer to late o’clock, Saturday afternoon found me looking up into the heavens for some sort of divine guidance to the (beautiful new) Audio Blood HQ.  Once safely inside and graciously made comfortable, secretary style (I got to sit at the front desk!) I am treated to truly cheerful Eastern hospitality. 

Hearts of gold and a sound plucked straight from the pub, these men know a thing or two about good, solid rock.The Halifax-based five-piece seated around me, we embark on a journey into the depths of what has made The Stanfields (Jason Wright, Craig Harris, Mark Murphy, Jon Landry, Jason MacIssac) who they are: broken ribs, holes kicked in walls, He Man, fried baloney and all.  Prepare to be wooed. 

Describe your sound in five words

Boom, band, pang, twang, zap.  Or as the band’s tour manager puts it, “Fuckin’ fuck loud as fuck”.  He remains nameless, for now, by his own request. 

Describe for me the best show you’ve ever played

Well there was the one where a buddy of ours drop-kicked the wall.  Or the Latvian hockey party – but that was a Fucked Up show.  Any show when someone kicks a hole in the wall.  It gives us a good laugh – we’re pretty passive people.  Nobody ever gets hurt, though.  That’s not the name of the game. 

What’s the absolute best reaction you could get to your music?
Dancing is always good.  Or when people give us the finger, yell “Fuck yeah!!”, pump their fists in the air, or get drunk as hell. 

If you could score a film, which film would you choose?  (Or… make one up).
(In unison) : Boondock Saints.  Not II, I. 

Which five cities would you include in a fantasy tour?
John: St. Petersburg
Mark: Bangkok
Jason Wright: New York
Craig: Sao Paulo (we can get our bikini wax on!)
Jason Mac Issac: Edinburgh  

Strawberry Fields or Penny Lane?
Ride the Lightning.  Neither.  Helter Skelter.  You Know My Name.  We’re 30/70 on the Beatles.  Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?  It’s like an invitation. 

Where/what does your name come from?
The airport in Halifax

How do you take your eggs?
Mark: Poached
Craig: Scrambled
Jason Wright: Over easy
Jon: Chocolate
Jason Mac Issac: Eat the shell
Jason Wright: I ate a full banana once.. 

What is your ideal rainy day activity?
Baloneyfest!  We get home (from the tour) on a Saturday and we’re not playing a show, so we’re going to empty the van, get drunk, fry up some baloney, get bombed and be asleep by 8 o’clock.  We’ve done it twice already, but this is the first planned baloneyfest.  Once a friend of ours went to the grocery store and the computer screwed up and said baloney cost 30 cents a pack.  So she filled up six carts of it. 

What is your favourite childhood television series?
Mark: The Muppets.
Jason Wright:  Transformers
Jason Mac Issac:  He Man
Jon Landry:  He Man
Tour Manager:  The Simpsons
Craig Harris: He-Man

What’s your best concert(-going) experience?
ACDC! It was a band field trip, when we first started out.  They played in Moncton and we used our band earnings to subsidize it.  Research & Development.  (John): I’d broken my ribs playing catch with (John MacIssac’s) brother.  I told him to throw it wide, trying to be Kelly Gruber or something, landed on my elbow, but went to the concert anyway.  (Mark Murphy): I broke mine the same year, falling on a wine bottle. 

Note:  Both these stories are most likely clever cover-ups for acts of heroism involving baby carriages and speeding trains.  The humility.  Wow. 

Where is your favourite place to (casually) sing?
Jason Mac Issac:  Takin’ poops
Mark Murphy:  Car
Jason Wright:  Car
Craig: Onstage
Yeah, we casually sing when we play live! 

BAND TAKES OVER QUESTION-ASKING TO ASK THEIR OWN QUESTION

Who is the alpha-male?
Consensus: Murphy.
Jason Wright:  I am!  Is that right, John?? 
THE POWERS OF QUESTION-ASKING ARE RESTORED TO ME:

You have $1000 and ten minutes to spend it.  What do you do?
Closest liquor store, closest baloney shop.  Which will bring on a hangover the proportion of which has never been born. 

TOUR DATES *all dates with Gloryhound
Jan. 18 @ The Mansion, BARRIE
Jan. 19 @ The Mansion, KINGSTON
Jan. 20 @ Grace O’Malley’s, OTTAWA
Jan. 21 @ Scanner, QUEBEC CITY 

The Stanfields are also set to play the opening ceremony of the 2011 Canada Games this February in Halifax, alongside Jimmy Rankin, The Trews, and Rich Aucoin. Not only shredding for the main event, the band will play as part of the outdoor Celebration Square Concert Series during the games, billed with the likes of City and Colour, Great Big Sea and Matt Mays.  So if you’re eastbound and down (ha, ha, ha) don’t miss them!   

video – http://thestanfields.ca/dirtiestdrunk/

more – http://thestanfields.ca

~ Annie Webber