Our nightlife correspondent works in finance during the week, but on the weekends she’s a VIP Hostess at one of Canada’s most famous clubs. Naturally, she has some pretty crazy stories. Here’s what happened this week.

As a VIP hostess at one of Toronto’s most popular nightclubs, you have to be ready for anything. Often wealthy customers, Toronto’s nouveau riche, are famous for having the attention span of a house fly. They are constantly looking for different ways to amuse themselves and will follow through on whatever ridiculous ideas may pop into their minds at any given time. This could be at the expense of practically anyone in sight, with no regret.  Although I should, by now, after over three and a half years in the industry, expect all types of savage behaviour, I am still somehow surprised by the lack of, well…let’s say manners. That and tact.

Last weekend I unsuspectingly walked by two gentleman who asked if they could purchase two bottles of premium champagne.  Sounds simple, I thought to myself.  So, I swiftly scooted back to the service station to ring up their order which totaled around $2500.  Not a bad sale on the fly.

As I bulldoze through the busy club, I light sparklers in the air and speed towards them probably faster than I ever had before, along with a mandatory, almost obnoxious smile on my face. I quietly pop their pricey purchase and pass them the two gold plated champagne bottles.  I could tell they were both quite pleased with themselves.  I was also quite pleased with myself. 

This is the precise moment when things take a turn for the worse. Or perhaps the better. For them, not for me, that is. 

Just when I thought life was good, and they were about to take their first sip of bubbly, they really pulled a fast one.  The more annoying of the two gentleman started coming towards me with his gold plated bottle in what felt like slow motion.  He then proceeded to dump the entire contents of the two bottles of ALL over me. Absolutely shocked and drenched in a sticky, wet, bubbly liquid, this was definitely not my finest moment.  I asked myself, Did I really just get champagne showered? The answer was a definitive yes.

I took comfort in thinking about how absolutely hilarious this must be to onlookers.  The fact that there I was standing there, soaked, must have been damn funny to most of the vapid crowd in attendance that evening.  In fact, customers did not hold back with their unruly feedback. One guy even yelled to me, “Ha, dude, you look like a wet hamster!” Although I do admit he was completely correct, I was in no mood for voluntary feedback.

Unfortunately I could not run away in complete horror at this point as they still had to pay the bill.  Speechless, I muttered to them as I was toweling myself off (with napkins of course), Well guys, that was fun, wasn’t it? Based on their sneaky smiles and without an ounce of regret showing on their faces, I think it’s safe to say that it was the best $2500 that they ever spent.