In which the intrepid MemeMachine offers a discerning selection of what’s buzzing on the internet. Bringing you crucial knowledge that you were presumably too busy to extract from the internet because you were off enjoying the outside world IRL. This is procrastination at its finest. You’re welcome.

In a not even remotely edited, spliced or auto tuned manner, President Obama sings Lady Gaga’s hit single “Born this Way.”

Filmed at Type Books in Toronto: The Joy of Books. I don’t want to know how long it took to film this, and props to the poor sucker who had to do all the re-shelving.

Ahh yes, this was quite buzzy last week: a sardonic stab at shamelessly photoshopped images in ads, fashion magazines et al. In case you didn’t get a million shared versions of this on your Facebook, perhaps because you don’t have Facebook (what are you trying to hide?) or because you have a “life,” I beg you, catch the hell up.

Shit _____ Says of the week: (Please internet gods, don’t let this become a weekly feature, 99 per cent of these are painful to watch. Incidentally, not this one.) Shit Nobody Says.

And while we’re doing this, here’s another one! It’s the second Shit Fashion Girls Say video I’ve seen, but this one is about as good as these videos get. (“Ewww, she’s totally the Miranda.”) Bonus fun! Spot the meme within the meme! Meta!

The Morgan Freeman effect. The only thing the #MemeMachine shall report from the Golden Globes.

Twitter account to follow of the week for intellectual enrichment: @Brainpicker

~Elli Stuhler, @ellistuhler