June 22nd-28th North Star + Geoff Mcfetridge Pop-Up Shop @ Magic Pony, 680 Queen St. W. North Star, the classic Canadian Sportswear brand, has collaborated with celebrated Canadian artist and designer Geoff Mcfetridge on a limited edition Canada Day apparel collection. The collection will be available for one week only. Happy Canada Day!

WEDNESDAY

9:30 pm Dog Bowl Movie Night: Trapped In The Closet @ Trinity Bellwoods Park, dog bowl. R Kelly’s instant cult classic hip-hopera: Trapped in the Closet. Themed snacks! Audience participation Starts at 9:30 sharp!

10 pm Bright Lights, Big City @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Come for the music, stay for the music. DJ Wes Allen plays oddities, discoveries, reminders, secrets, lost and found, surprises, and jewels. 197? and earlier.

10 pm Burnout Basement @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Featuring special guest DJ Mikey Apples playing NWOBHM, stoner jams, and punk. $3 Fireball shots, $4.50 Molson Stock Ale, $5 Mill Street pints, and $8 Shtockhausen (Stock + Jameson).

THURSDAY

10 pm Beast @ Crawford, 718 College St. A dirty south, booty-shaking, gangsta rap, wildcard, dancehall, reggae, sweaty night brought to you by The Bass6.

FRIDAY

5 pm Drakeland Launch Party @ The Drake Hotel, 1150 Queen St. W. The Drake’s summer programming rises to new (Ferris wheel) heights as it kicks off its amusement park theme for Summer 2012! See how a roller coaster fits into the hotel lobby while face painters, magicians, and hoop dancers hypnotize you with their talents. After having your fortune told and your face painted, try your hand at the dunk tank on the South Café Patio, where a $5 donation to Sketch gets you three tries to send someone swimming! Then, head up the Midway to the Lemonade Stand where you’ll find cool cocktails and the Drakeland menu specials you see above, but leave room for dessert; there’s free cotton candy for everyone! Until 9 pm.

9 pm Work It! @ Buddies In Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St. An old school queer hip-hop night featuring several up-and-coming queer artists in a Queer Rap Battle, throwing down their rhymes for a chance to win prizes. As an ode to the classic days of rap battles, DJ Nix spins all your favourite old school hip-hop and R&B tunes from Missy to TLC and Biggie to Blackstreet. Dress to impress in your Ol’Skool shell toes and shades, snap back hats, high tops and parachute pants! Free before 10 pm, $7 after.

10 pm The Return of Slayer Party @ Bovine Sex Club, 542 Queen St. W. The Good Kids bring back Toronto’s best rock n’ roll and metal party! DJs playing heavy metal, speed metal, hair metal, thrash metal, black Metal, hard rock, and punk + live sets by Leslie Spits and Dentata, and go go girls. $5 in advance, $7 at the door.

10 pm White Girl @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. Rap from 1993-2012 with DJs Patrick McGuire, Josh McIntyre, and Ghetto Gold Matt. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Black Box @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. DJ Ell V plays techno, EBM, acid, NYC, industrial, and synth. Live set by Guy Dallas (Pretty Pretty Records) at 12:30 am.

10 pm Grilled Cheese @ Crawford, 718 College St. DJs Jon Chetty and James Redi play Motown, disco, hip-hop, and reggae while Fundament holds it down front and centre with a mic, a George Foreman grill, a stack of Cheesy slices and a fresh loaf. Yes, FREE GRILLED CHEESE ON THE DANCE FLOOR! Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Summer Mixtape Sessions Vol. 1 @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. Houseaddict + BoundBySound presents Summer Mixtape Sessions Vol. 1 featuring Kate Simko (Leftroom Records) and Gera & The Hermans. $15 advance tickets available online. For guestlist requests, email guestlist@wrongbar.com.

11 pm Edumacation @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Come get learned… proper, real proper! Resident DJ Fase teaching you the values of hip-hop, funk, soul, old school, house, reggae, and club anthems. $10.

SATURDAY

12 pm 2nd Annual Aqua-Blast Clash @ Trinity Bellwoods Park, by the dog bowl. Bring your guns, bring your shorts and they’ll bring the water balloons and TWO vodka-watermelon kegs for your drinking pleasure! Games will include Team CTF, Team Deathmatch, Free for All, and some water balloon games. PWYC ($3-5 suggested) to cover the booze and balloons.

1 pm Free Lemonade & Signed Photos of John Stamos* @ Christie Pits Park, 750 Bloor St. W. Can you believe it’s been 10 whole years since the Marxist Nudist Taxidermy Club started giving out free lemonade and signed photos of John Stamos?* To celebrate this auspicious occasion, they’re even going to sign non-John Stamos photos! Want a picture of Margaret Thatcher? Done! How about a horse? Double-done! Maybe one of Bob Saget…? No. *As always, photos will be signed by an individual who is not John Stamos, has no relation to Mr. Stamos, and does not bear any particular physical resemblance to the celebrity in question (the aforementioned John S.). Until 4 pm.

3 pm Room Temperature Vol. 11 @ Cold Tea (patio), 60 Kensington Ave. DJs Members Only and Parasol spend the day playing disco jams and confirming rumours that there is nothing better than an outdoor party! Snack stand by La Carnita’s Nathan Middleton featuring his own signature items + homemade ice cream bars courtesy of Black Hoof’s Brandon Olsen (food is an additional cost but entry is free). Until 10 pm.

8 pm Crush Party Pride Edition @ The Central, 603 Markham St. An event for people who want to make sex-positive like-minded friends. An invitation for any and all: hetero, homo, queer, trans, kinky, lesbian, gay, vanilla, bi, flexible, poly, and open minded young people (or young at heart). $5.

9 pm “The Present” Opening Reception @ Oz Studios, 134 Ossington Ave. “Mid May, a group of documentary photographers, were challenged to create new work related to the theme ‘The Present: We will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.’ Photographs in this show were created between May 27 and June 10, 2012. A variety of refreshments will be available for a small donation, including Muskoka Brewery Cream Ale, Lager, and Mad Tom IPA. AD TOM IPA. Tunes by Liam Crockard. ‘Til late. Exhibition runs until June 30th.

10 pm Lick A Shot @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. A party mostly about millennium-era rap and R&B. Tunes brought to your by your home team, the 1990 Atlanta Hawks of losing their keys: Geoff Snack, Vanity Muscles, and Andrew Roti.

10 pm Myth Paradise Music @ Unit, 1198 Queen St. W. A reunion of brothers, music lovers, sisters and others. Choice selections of the highest Nerdus Comprendus by DJs Nep, Todd, and our favourite, Pooyan. Disco, house, and other.

10 pm Own It @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. Retro Top 40, cheesy anthems, one hit wonders, and other music you hate to love with DJ Dislexia.

10 pm No No Pony @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. DJs Suzie Boo and Boyfriend play Ginuwine’s “Pony” every hour on the hour + 90’s hip-hop, pop, Elvis, everything. Equestrian or “horsey” attire encouraged! $5.

10 pm Bad Taste @ Augusta House, 152-A Augusta Ave. Gully rap music all night with double barrel pump up selectors Caff, Joseph Perry, and Brainsforbrkfst. Duck your head, protect ya neck.

10 pm Pressure Drop @ The Embassy, 223 Augusta Ave. Crucial riddim selections all night long from the legendary Tippertone, conscious lyrics from singers Visionaru and Wally Ritchie, and selectors Chuck Boom, Morningside 116, Guv’nor General, and Devon Irie.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Spend the night together with the Bangs & Blush ladies! 60’s pop, soul and rock n’ roll to drink, dance and get messy to. $5.

10 pm Osunlade @ Sunnyside Pavilion, 1755 Lakeshore Blvd. Featuring DJ, producer, singer, artist, and photographer Onsunlade + The HipNosis Crew (Ali Black, Riviera, Le Freak C’est Keek, and Paul Revered) and Sunnyside residents Richard Brooks and Felix & Gani. $20 limited advance tickets availableonline, regular tickets available at Shanti Baba, Moog Audio, and Play De Record.

10 pm Secret Models @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. One big room, full of bad bitches! DJs Secret Models play hits straight from your high school semi-formal.

10 pm F’unreal @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Music for your dancing pleasure – anything goes! With DJs Well Said, Slater, L-Sos, and Kek. $5.

10 pm Soulvation @ The Press Club, 850 Dundas St. W. DJs Laura and Cindy spin Motown favourites and northern soul oldies n’ obscurities all night long. Bring your crew and gab over great beers, or light up the dance floor with your funky moves!

10 pm The Hoxton Saturdays: Stereotronique @ The Hoxton, 69 Bathurst St. Special release party for Stereotronique’s new original mix Exoskelephone. Sets by Stereotronique, Feddy Haze, Gray Moonen, and Lance Romance. 4 AM LAST CALL. For guestlist, contact Jonathan C – (416)-520-4753, Zale Turner – (416)-897-7187, or email steven@thehoxton.ca.

10 pm Sugar Hill @ Crawford, 718 College St. DJ Grouch plays uptown boogie, new jack swing, and 80’s and 90’s rap + RnB. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10:30 pm Vile @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. All your nightmares are coming true. DJs Justin Smith, Schramm, Mistress Frostitution, and Nancy “Nitrate” Bocock have lots of filthy surprises up their sleeves.

11 pm Essence Brown @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. Sexy, smooth, seductive hip-hop, R&B, and dancehall with your hosts Manila Ice, Hoi King, and Turfmayne.

11 pm Quatro @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Bridging the gap between 4 different eras and forming a cohesive sonic bond, Conor Cutz & Rouge bring you a night of the best music from times past. From the 1970s to the early 2000s, expect to hear the best of everything from James Brown to Justice, M.J. to Biggie – tracks that defined generations, seamlessly mashed up and reworked by the infamous duo. Around midnight, renowned speed artist Anthony Haley takes the stage and begins performing his craft. Gaining inspiration from the crowd, music and overall feel of the night, Haley will take you on a visual quest creating piece after piece live on stage. $10.

SUNDAY

1 pm Let’s Beach 2012 @ Balmy Beach Club, at the foot of Beech Ave. An annual community BBQ, entertainment, and silent auction party hosted by Beaches Living Guide and Beaches/life magazine in support of Camp Oochigeas for kids with cancer. $15 advance tickets available online or $20 at the door. Until 6 pm.

9:30 pm Crosswires #18 @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. A Sunday night series brought to you by Doc Pickles, co-founder and emcee of Wavelength. Featuring performances by Alaniaris, Korrupt, and Jared Brown Human + General Chaos Visuals and DJ selector Acacia Christensen. Sponsored by Steam Whistle. PWYC.

~ Caitlyn Holroyd

(For event submissions, email caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com)