*Note: Clinton’s (693 Bloor St. W.) is closed until March 23rd and 751 (751 Queen St. W.) is closed indefinitely (rumoured to be just for the month of March).

March 14th-15th Raconteurs & The COC {resents “Love Lost” and “The Muse” @ No One Writes to the Colonel, 460 College St. Raconteurs partner with the Canadian Opera Company to promote their opera The Tales Of Hoffmann. The themes are “Love Lost” (the 14th) and “The Muse” (the 15th) and each night features hand-picked storytellers, a special opera cocktail, and ticket giveaways to The Tales of Hoffmann. Doors at 6:30, show starts at 7:30 pm. $12 tickets available at Soundscapes and online.

WEDNESDAY

8 pm Mustache Rides Presents: Pizza Party Edition @ Crawford, 718 College St. A night of live music by Rising Crust and John Smith + DJ Joel Fresh playing the best of pop/punk/rock/glam from the 1960’s to the 1980’s. It’s a pizza party too! $5 until midnight then free.

10 pm HumbleMania 38 @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Luke Lalonde and friends perform a set of Roger Miller covers. Vinyl dance party afterwards!

THURSDAY

9:30 pm Support Local @ Laide, 138 Adelaide St. A night of art, music, drinks, and dancing by Support Local, a community of creative people coming together to support one another and each other’s endeavours. A great opportunity to buy some really cool shit and support work done by local creative people! Music by Christina Mac. No cover but canned food items encouraged.

10 pm Substance @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. Post-punk, 80’s, alternative, indie, and other stuff on vinyl + digital.

10 pm Eff Emm Ell @ Crawford (basement), 718 College St. DJs Dread McGriff, Beast, and Craig Mac spin grimy hip-hop and party bangers all night. Free Baitshop tanks while quantities last. $7 half pint + shot combo, $12.50 pitchers of PBR, and cheap snacks (popcorn, cotton candy, pogos, and beef patties). $5 before midnight.

10 pm Call//Response @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. A DJ battle! Alex Lukashevsky plays a song, Matt Cully responds and plays a record. Back and forth.

FRIDAY

6 pm “Road Shots” Opening Reception @ O’Born Contemporary, 131 Ossington Ave. “A series of conceptual photographs tracing the political landscape of Israel/Palestine. While living in Ramallah in 2008-2009, [artists Elle Flanders and Tamira Sawatzky] took these stills as [they] traveled through the West Bank, uncovering a system of segregated roads: smaller country roads for Palestinians and superhighways for Israeli settlers. RSVP to info@oborncontemporary.com. Until 9 pm. Exhibition runs until April 21st.

8 pm High School Art Show @ Forgetus Collective, 163 Sterling Rd., Unit 29. Attention class: the High School Art Show is in session! Come reminisce on those excruciatingly long days of pubescent hormones, social anxiety, boredom, angst, sexual frustration, and the art and music spawned from it all. Featuring picture day portraits done on-site by Brian Wilson, BYO home-made pipe and bong competition, $3 swamp water, and high school playlists!

10 pm Yes Yes Y’all 3 Year Anniversary Jam @ The Annex WreckRoom, 794 Bathurst St. Toronto’s biggest, bashiest, sweatiest queer hip-hop/RnB/dancehall jam turns 3! Featuring an all star lineup of Emynd from Philly and Toronto’s very own Shi Wisdom and KJ + a YYY Night Market with local vendors and designers. $10 at the door.

10 pm The Zodiacs Present: Pisces @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. Celebrate the month of the Pisces with some bump’n and grind’n to your favourites 90’s hip-hop and R&B! Diego Bros are spinning. $5.

10 pm Fubar Party @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. Hosted by Deaner + live performances by Nightseeker, Metalian, Dentata, and special guest DJs The Gillespie Brothers. Get ready to giv’r! $15 advance tickets available at Rotate This, Soundscapes, and online.

10 pm Swift Ones @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. DJ kungfucandy plays Hip-hop, R&B, and guilty pleasures! Tara Zep of New Tribe Tattooing & Piercing provides a flash sheet of tattoos she’s drawn up and a lucky winner will be able to choose from it and get a tattoo done for free. Free swag from Monster Aesthetics. $3 drinks before midnight. Free before 11:30 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Bass @ Crawford, 718 College St. Hip-hop tunes that bring the bass with DJ Marko Orlic. Don’t forget your neck braces. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Pie & Mash DJs Indie/Alternative Party @ The Emmet Ray, 924 College St. The Pie & Mash DJs play their favourite alternative tunes from across the genres: indie, Brit-pop, electronic, hip-hop, funk, soul, reggae, and ska.

10 pm Hip-Hop Karaoke: Round #62 @ Revival, 783 College St. Show off your rap skillz! Hosted by Abdominal and More Or Les + DJs Numeric, Dalia, and Ted Dancin’. $15 Before 11 pm, more after.

10 pm Criscotheque @ The Henhouse, 1532 Dundas St. W. A magical, greasy, gay dance party! Last month they had voguing, puking unicorns and glitter bombed party-goers.

10 pm SoulSkank @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. DJ General Eclectic and friends play ska, soul, funk, stax, Motown and dancehall while Gramera and Dennis P bring you live horns. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Life Tastes Better @ Unit, 1198 Queen St. W. DJ Jason Ulrich and guests play vintage/future boogie.

10 pm Sweat Pants @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJ Coolin Cregg plays his/your favourite songs all night. ’95(ish) to ’05(ish) rap/RnB/reggae/dancehall, sexy tunes, new joints, old jams, sweat pants.

10 pm Evening Standard @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. A dance party with DJs Muscle&Heat + residents Members Only. $10.

11 pm No Control @ Velvet Underground, 510 Queen St. W. DJ Steve Rock plays punk, post-punk, and new wave circa 1975-ish to 1985-ish. $5 (or say Good Kids at the door to get in for free).

SATURDAY

11 am St. Party’s Day Shindig @ St. Lawrence Market, 92 Front St. E. March 17th. Featuring a HUGE tent stretching from King Street to Front Street + live music from Irish Impostors, Fallen Ground, Clam Chowder, Nights & Weekends, DJ Rouge, and DJ Richy Time. $10-25 tickets (depending on time slot) available online.

11 am St. Patrick’s Day @ Ceili Cottage, 1301 Queen St. E. General debauchery and shenanigans all day long! Live music with The Mere Mortals at 5 pm and Gil-Can dance shows all day. $10 at the door all day, with all proceeds going to the Gil-Can World Champs’ Irish Dance Team.

2 pm St. Patrick’s Day Party @ Steam Whistle Brewery (The Roundhouse), 255 Bremner Blvd. Entertainment by Brogue, Poor Angus, and the Woodgate-Shamrock Irish Dancers. Party goes till midnight. $15 at the door.

2 pm Shamrock St. Paddy’s Celebration @ Fox & Fiddle, 27 Wellesley St. E. Live music from 4-8 pm and dance party from 8 pm onwards with DJ Playea playing top 40, St. Paddy’s Day anthems, and dance music. Drink, food, and green beer specials + heated patio.

2 pm St. Patrick’s Day Loft Party @ The Burroughes, 639 Queen St. W. Pop in any time! St. Patty’s Day games and competitions on the 6th floor and catering by Micha Kennedy Fries + acoustic performances by Toronto talent on the rooftop! Toronto’s top DJs spanning every genre you want to hear all day and night. Beer pong/flip cup/boat race competitions ($20 per person for beer pong, $10 for flip cup) registration from 2-4 pm. $15 early bird tickets (online only), $20 advance (online and hard tickets), more at the door.

3 pm St. Patrick’s Day Partay @ Crawford, 718 College St. DJ Matty D hols down the tunes for all the day drinkers and DJs New Money, Philpmode, and Dread McGriff take over at 10 pm. Green dress code, green beer, a full St Pat’s menu and fun times! $5 before midnight.

10 pm MurderBoner! 14: St. Patrick’s Day Edition @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. Ghetto Gold Matt plays new progressive rap music all night long. Hard drinks, and harder 808s.

10 pm Get It Together: Shamrocks & Shenanigans Edition @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. An open-format, genre-defying, best-night-of-your-life kinda dance party!

10 pm Bitch Craft @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. DJs Blonde & Redhead play LOUD RAP MUSIC. Drink specials until 11:30 pm. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Hot Blooded @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Dust of those boogie shoes! The “A Digital Needle DJs” team plays funky disco to get down to. $5.

10 pm Friendship @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Have you ever fallen in love with a dance floor? Do you want to? Can you imagine? And what if you could imagine? Friendship will turn your imagination into reality.

10 pm Your Best Ever Wedding Party @ The Embassy, 223 Augusta Ave. The best wedding party ever! Featuring music from Wham! to Work It to Walk Like An Egyptian, confetti, and little silly keepsakes. No one will check whether or not you have a date, because, frankly, they’re too busy dancing their asses off.

10 pm Ghetto Blaster Sound @ Unit, 1198 Queen St. W. DJs D Cash and Kilo P play hip-hop, R&B, and 80’s. No wack shit, just classics.

11 pm Jukebox: Rock & Soul Dance Party @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. DJs The Gillespie Brothers and Circle Research play a unique blend of soul, funk and good ol’ fashioned rock n’ roll. $10.

SUNDAY

9 pm Official Launch Party: Up & Coming: Volume 1 @ Oasis Aqua Lounge, 231 Mutual St. Launch party for Up & Coming, a quarterly erotic arts and lifestyle magazine featuring mostly cerebral, entirely tasteful photo spreads, artist profiles, essays, fine art, and smut. Featuring food porn by Karen Frostitution, savoury treats by Alex Feswick, projections by the Matrix Projects, sexy songs and slow jams by DJ Young Adult, sex show with porn stars Jezebel and Malcolm XXX, and door prizes. Oasis Aqua Lounge features a heated outdoor pool so bring your bathing suit! $15 advance tickets available from Mike Feswick (905-979-1104), $20 at the door.

9 pm Karaoke Night @ Crawford, 718 College St. Ladies: throw on your poodle skirts. Fellas: grease your coif. It’s a 50’s theme! Tickets for drink specials will be given to singers (1 ticket per song sung).

9:30 pm Crosswires #4 @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. A new Sunday night series brought to you by Doc Pickles, co-founder and emcee of of Wavelength. Featuring rock n’ psych-ers Eastern Magnetics, stoner n’ psych-ers Meeko Cheech, General Chaos Visuals, and DJ selector Acacia Christensen. Sponsored by Steam Whistle. PWYC.

~ Caitlyn Holroyd

(For event submissions, email caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com)