So you’ve been given the highest honour a BFF can bestow. Let the squealing, and/or crying, and/or warm fuzzy feelings flow free! Now kick in to action to show your fave gal she can trust you as her right hand (wo)man.

Whether you are a professional MOH (maid of honour) or a total newb, there are some key rules to keep in mind, and a few tricks to stuff up your taffeta sleeve. Follow this list and your bride will want to do it all over again! Although…we hope it’s just the one time…

Be the sounding board

Most MOH’s think that planning the bachelorette is top priority. Don’t get me wrong, a killer send off jam is oh-so-important, but being available for wedding-related stress or (god forbid) cold feet moments is potentially the greatest part of your duty. Get ready to jump in with Kleenex, Ben and Jerry’s, or a brilliant speech to talk her back from the ledge.

Get organized

Take your bridal buddy for lunch/coffee/ice cream and have her outline the ‘plan’ or ‘vision’ for her wedding. Together, make a clear list of tasks that she expects you to take care of, or assist with. Make a note of any appointments that you will be attending together so that you don’t miss one dress-trying or cake-sampling moment! If you have a bridezilla on your hands, making a game plan up front will save you from “GRRRR, WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE CARE OF THIS!?!? I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!” hell.


Once you have your laundry list, round up a few trusted assistants (other maids and/or family members) to help you with anything that is too overwhelming for one (i.e. shower or bachelorette planning). After all, this is not your full time job!

Party, Party, Party

Lead-up events such as engagement parties, showers, and bachelorettes are your time to shine! No, you don’t have to be a professional party planner, but you do have to summon your skills and strengths and do the best that you can. Are you super crafty? Great! Make adorable decorations and invites. Are you OCD? Perfect! Handle the guest list, vendors, and the itinerary. See where I’m going with this?

Number one thing to remember here is that any and all of these events should reflect the bride and what she loves. This is not the time to throw an Austin Powers 60’s theme party just because you have always wanted to. Think of the extra details that you know your bride will just love. It’s all about making this a special time for her.

Keep it cute and creative

Even if you are the default MOH (i.e. the sister) it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go the extra mile to show your bride how proud you are to be by her side. Put a little unexpected oomph into it with some added touches. A few ideas:

– Put together a cute day-of emergency kit filled with all the little goodies she might need; bandaids, Advil, lip gloss, kleenex, nail file, etc.

– Send wedding updates, news, or pump-up propaganda to your bride on a daily or weekly basis via email or Facebook to keep her excited. This could be anything from blogs and trends, to first-dance song ideas or celeb wedding photos.

– Sure, she’ll have her wedding album to keep it all fresh in her memory, but why not collect pics and mementos of all the pre-wedding moments to create a scrapbook for the bride to have and to hold?

– If your bride wants to slim down or tone up for her big day, enroll in a fun and interactive exercise class together and help her reach her goal. Burn your calories by laughing at each other trying to attempt a Zumba or hip hop dance class. Please take pics for aforementioned scrapbook.

Grin and bear it

Whether you have to work a floor-length lime green muumuu, or you’ve been asked to walk the aisle with the groom’s sleazy brother, suck it up. There will likely be a thing or two that may not be your absolute first choice. Not about you. NOT ABOUT YOU. Repeat this mantra whenever necessary.

Don’t slack on the big day

You may feel like the job is done once you’ve successfully delivered your bride to the altar; but no! Even if a planner is taking care of the day-of details, the wedding day is your Super Bowl! Make yourself known to the planner, photographer, or DJ as the point person for questions or concerns – no need to distract the bride from the task at hand. During the reception, check in on your bride from time to time to make sure that she has eaten, has made it to the bar, or has been able to get a bathroom break. You’d be surprised how side-tracked one can get on the way to the loo!

The dreaded speech

You will have to make a speech. Deal with it. If you LOVE making speeches; right on, this is your moment. If you DREAD making speeches, keep it short and sweet. Do not recite a list of all the things you and the bride have done together, or all the stupid drunken messes you got yourselves into. Share what the friendship means to you, shout out to the groom, give the happy couple your best wishes for the future, and get outta there!

Little Miss Wediquette