This past weekend, parks around the city opened up like story books and it appeared as though stepping two feet into the greenery was all people needed to forget about their crappy jobs, messy divorces, procrastinated assignments – or whatever was on their mind. I enjoyed observing all the park activities that seemed so calculated.
There was a girl in a pink polka dot dress who had carved out a plot of land to blow up colourful balloons and blow bubbles. I couldn’t determine whether this was an activity meant for people to join or just some kind of artistic statement. Perhaps neither.
Amateur Photography – Evening in the Park
Jet Set Motel @ THE SILVER DOLLAR
I banish you to Smoggie Land if you can’t get your enviro-act together!
VESTERBRO
WAITING FOR HOCKNEY
There were small families huddled on hills eating Chippy’s whilst strange dogs circled around them begging and peeing.
Overambitious folks brought blankets, fruit, dried fruit, cashews, laptops, diaries and nail polish – attempting to force themselves to stay put, but I wondered if all these items scattered around them were simply a decoy to watch others.
My favourite was the eight year old with braces and a Hannah Montana shirt who was cashing in on home made Lemonade.
"$2 a glass of fresh squeezed Lemonade, proceeds go to my riding class"
$2? What is this Starbucks? I was thirsty so chugged one down and had a quick conversation with the budding entrepreneur.
"You are going to make a killing today."
"I know." she smugly remarked.
Yes, the park is a highly civilized thing to do on a carefree Saturday or Sunday
After lounging around a park hoping to be noticed or eavesdropping on others, tap some of this shizack:
THURSDAY
LIFELIKE @ THE SOCIAL
Hosted by A.D/D and MTV’s Johnny Hockin, New Wave Electro Frenchies, LIFELIKE will be doing a DJ SET at THE SOCIAL
The perfect back drop for those of you who just aced your last exam and are hitting the town so hard you will be burning tracks through it, just as LIFELIKE will burn tracks through you to the extreme degree that the ice in your vodka soda will melt and you will wish you had worn cuter undies.
http://www.myspace.com/lifelikevulture
You will also pulsate around to:
www.myspace.com/swearwordsyo
www.johnnyhockin.com
1100 Queen West
Yellow Pills @ Augusta House
The chills, the pills, the thrills – who doesn’t want to try a yellow pill? It’s better than a blue one.
For those who physically want to smash electro mash ups; switch it up already and make your moves to Cheap Trick, The Byrds, Elvis Costello and The New Pornographers
152A Augusta
$5 – cover, $3 – drinks before 11
FRIDAY
MADE SHOW @ The Gladstone
Fine art and Utilitarian objects – ooh.
Discover and celebrate design and the process of design – especially for all you wankers that exclusively buy big box furniture.
Cocktail opening – 6PM – 11PM, show remains all weekend (Sat noon-10PM, Sun noon – 7PM)
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
www.madeshow.com
1214 Queen West
Inside Out Gay and Lesbian Film Festival ‘PROGRAM’ Launch Party @ The Gladstone
See how much Gay and Lesbians know how to party? They throw a pre-launch party, announcing the launch.
Expect a silent auction with titillating offers; Way Cool Tattoo, Barbie’s Basement Jewellery, Fairmont Royal York Romps, Gladstone Gaffatape, John Fluevog shoes and special TIFF packages
With Drag Queen Donnarama, there’s sure to be Dramarama
1214 Queen West
6:30 – 11:00 PM
CRUSH PARTY @ Marben
Oh – doesn’t this sound delicious. Looking for a shag? This is probs your best bet. Go to www.justacrush.ca and send an anonymous note to the co-worker you are currently salivating over and then you will all show up and say, “I HAVE NO IDEA WHO INVITED ME BUT THIS IS FUN!!”. Watch out, because you may get tipsy and then start whispering in people’s ears, ‘I secretly have a crush on you’, but then it will be easy, because they will say, “I know. Wanna make out?”
Or at least that’s what I imagine happening.
Feeling single? Then MINGLE! (There will even be fun NOT DORKY games to help make all of this smooth over like butter)
488 Wellington St. W
Send your crush a note now! www.justacrush.ca
WRONG BAR for all you Parkdale Motherfuckers (the one’s who attend and the one’s who on occasion host or DJ?? Me no know.)
DJ Shine / Syntonics / Fierce Helder with special performance by Fritz Helder and the Phantoms
A night for dirty girls who love dirtier boys
Grinding with a beer and greasy hair! Yawwww bring it!
1279 Queen St. W
$10
Jet Set Motel @ Silver Dollar
Panic on the streets of Toronto, HANG THE DJ and give me a god damn band already!
For those a little less electro and a little more rock – a lineup of sweet bands @ The Silver Dollar
www.myspace.com/davidpicco
www.myspace.com/invasionmusic
www.myspace.com/viciousdelicious
www.myspace.com/hamiltonjawbone
$6 at the door – 486 Spadina Ave.
It’s a NON STOP Dance Party in The Drake Underground
and if you stop you will have to stand in the corner with a dunce cap drinking Grand Marnier out of a cup backwards..okay I lie.
Nonstop w/ Grahmzilla (Thunderheist) & Fistfight (Nacho Lovers)
I will not stop dancing, I will not stop dancing, I will not stop dancing.
1150 Queen West
SWITCHING SWITCH AND GETTING VANDALISED @ CIRCA
Since a contingency of readers have recently been unleashed from surviving on coke and KD, roughing it through exams and freaking out about procrastinated assignments and cheating boyfriends, I thought I’d do a special ode to CIRCA
CIRCA!!!!!!!!!!! Get sloshed to rough electro tracks that will make you feel like a magnetic jigsaw puzzle uncontrollably jerking around, freakishly pulling you towards hot boys with scruff on their face that smell like sex.
Local DJ’s VND/LSM will be joined by UK BURNS
Messy is an understatement.
www.myspace.com/vndlsm
www.myspace.com/thisisburns
SATURDAY
BUY DESIGN FOR WINDFALL @ The Distillery
A swank and stylish affair at The Fermenting Cellar that will play tribute to the Warhol days of Studio 54, and raise money for Windfall Clothing Service
Windfall Clothing provides new clothing to homeless people and local shelters
Limited tix available @ The Door for $80
I’m going to tout this as the most fashionable and fun spring fundraiser party of ’08.
55 Mill St – 8PM
Toronto’s Poetry Slam’s Face-Rockin Finals @ HUGH’S ROOM
I went to one of these expecting to be slightly irritated by mimes wearing jazz hats, but it was nothing like I expected, and on the contrary LOVED IT!
Laughs, near tears, a very raucous crowd – you will enjoy whether you love or detest poetry
8-11PM, 2261 Dundas St. W
10 advance, 12 door
For advance call this number – 416-531-6604
FORGET IT @ Teranga
I used to have this problem where every Sunday started with a series of apologetic phone calls. That’s not a problem at FORGET IT, because you have a lenient license to misbehave and launch into annoying discourse on how you hate this, or wah wah that – and the next day FORGET ABOUT IT.
Love the names of DJ’s on the roster, sounds like an incestual family – Pat C, Hi Mom, Hard Dough & #1 Dad
Smut electro and Salacious Disco = Get Wet and Forget
Dy’nasty @ The Gladstone
Advertised as: If disco screwed house and made electro babies bathed in delicious galactic goo…then those babies would be at this party. And they would be really drunk.
Hmm – sounds like Forget It but with bigger hair and more magical unicorns on crack.
Toss a coin. One venue is a shitbox of intimacy, the other has a side bar of cougar Karaoke.
1214 Queen West
www.myspace.com/dynastyparty
ALL WEEKEND LONG
THE ELLE SHOW @ Direct Energy Centre for girlie girls who could go into near debt with a frenzied spree around Shoppers Drug Mart
Expect Fashion Shows, Products to Try, New Looks, New Clothes and to leave with a bag full of lotions and potions to test out
More Info: http://www.elleshow.ca/index.shtml
In door two at the Exhibition Place is
THE GREEN LIVING SHOW
With over 400 exhibitors displaying new products to learn about and sample, if you don’t leave here more green, than you deserve to live with the Smoggies.
Some stands you may like to stroll on buy with your little green thumb:
Aveda, Chez Vous Dining, Bullfrog Power, Ecstatic Jewellery by Heather Frize, Lee Valley Tools, The Healthy Butcher and Big Carrot
More Info: http://www.greenlivingshow.ca/
HOT DOCS
Do NOT miss out on the last half of HOT DOCS
Shedoesthecity is a proud sponsor of the VESTERBRO
Screening tonight 9:30 PM @ The Royal
Thursday 11:59 @ The Bloor
Director Michael Noer documents the ups and downs of a young couple in Copenhagen. A very honest and non-glamourized look at sex, love and dealing with tough shit in your twenties.
Also be sure to check out our Special Feature on Women Directors at HOT DOCS:
shedoesthecity.com/special/hotdocs
GIVEAWAY to THREE LUCKY PEOPLE WITH GOOD TASTE IN MUSIC
TOKYO POLICE CLUB – ELEPHANT SHELL
The little band from Newmarket hit the world hard with their post punk debut album, A LESSON IN CRIME and now TOKYO POLICE CLUB are back in full force with – ELEPHANT SHELL
Want it? E-mail contests@shedoesthecity.com subject line ARREST ME, and we will hook up a few lucky winners.
Tokyo Police Club will be playing in Toronto May 2nd and 3rd at The Opera House – SOLD OUT BOTH NIGHTS, be prepared to beg & barter
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