1. What does a typical Thursday look like for you, starting from when you wake up – to heading to bed?

A typical day in my life involves me waking up to my favourite song, Veronika by Rep By Pop (see www.myspace.com/repbypop for details) or my boyfriend’s band My Hot RedHead, also named after moi. Then it is off to rehearsal for Radio Play, in which I play Veronica Schwartz for the day. Radio Play opens in the Fringe Festival July 4th at the Tarragon Theatre Extra Space, see www.kickylittlething.com for details. I will grab a quick bite of food from my favourite bar, The Troubadour, troubadourbar@gmail.com.

While enjoying my nachos I will read the latest issue of Spirit Magazine of which I am on the cover. Spirit Magazine is available at most Chapters bookstores across Canada. Then I will take the TTC, www.ttc.ca over to my next rehearsal for, you guessed it, The Shameless Dames. I am a producer with the Shameless Dames and I also play Priscilla Pussycat, who is cute as a bare bottom. See www.myspace.com/priscillapussycat for details. You can see us perform at Church and Wellesly this Sunday at 5pm for Toronto Pride, and again in September at the Comedy Bar for Shakespeare in the Park. See www.shamelessdames.com for details. After rehearsal, we head over to the Press Club where I bartend often with my man, the owner, and enjoy the vast selection of beers and great conversations with the excellent staff. See www.thepressclub.ca for details. At the Press Club, we discuss many of my upcoming shows, such as the play Vinegar Tom, which I will be performing in this November at the Young Centre for the Arts. See www.myspace.com/royalporcupineproductions for details. Then, to ensure that the world has something to remember me by, I head over to Dr.Sketchy Toronto where I model for artists who immortalize my feline persona. See www.drsketchy-toronto.com. Then it’s back to my home to order Pay Per View to watch myself playing Candy in Zalman King’s Body Language. Yep, it’s a typical Thursday allright. Would you like to see my tits now?

2. What was your first job out of school?

Hopscotch Instructor. I was so great at hopscotch that they made me repeat the 4th grade until I was old enough to teach the kids how to properly hop. Seriously though, I came to Toronto fresh out of Lakehead University with a very useful degree in Anthropology. Honestly, my character in the Shameless Dames sometimes wears glasses and spews her education for the audience. Are you ready to see my apples now?

3. What are the 3 skills you require most to do your job well?

1. Breasts and a willingness to show them.
2. Buying costumes and maybe even making some. Be sure to have lots of storage for your oversized Lobster Claws.
3. A really good sense of humour. Wait, maybe those are not skills at all.

Let me rephrase,
1. Boobie shaking
2.Boobie twirling
and
3. Boobie bouncing.

If you have Tits…… and an Ass you are on your way to becoming a Burlesque Dancer. There are male performers as well, but they don’t have breasts so who cares? Would you like a flash of my fun bags yet?

4. What do you love most about your career?

It has really fast tracked my future in porn. Really, Zalman King hired me, so I am one step closer to being an amateur porn star. I have Web Dreams. Maybe I will even star in the remake of Baywatch. I would just love to have Pamela Andersons career, Hepatitis and all. I’m not a very good athlete, however, my breasts do jiggle when I move them. Wow, I am almost as good of a performer as Pamela Anderson! I also really love writing my own jokes. I never realized how funny I was until I started with the Shameless Dames. With jokes like, “Do you know that the ancient Egyptians coined the expression, coined the expression” or, “My vagina is pissed.” I’ve never been funnier. It makes you wonder why so many people told me that I wasn’t funny so I should stop trying. They’re crazy, right? Can I bare my meat melons for you?

5. Do you have any warnings?

Watch out for grabby hands. Especially if you are a male performer. None of the women in my troupe have had this problem. I know, you would think that they would. But if a man even attempted it they would be jumped quickly and without question by the front row. One of the male performers in my troupe was grabbed inappropriately by a male politician from Quebec and shall remain nameless. Okay, I give in, the performers name is The Nameless Dame. Also be sure to fasten your pasties with Spirit Gum. During the New Year’s Eve celebrations last year at Buddies in Bad Times I decided to use eyelash glue instead of the aforementioned type. It seemed to be working just fine until it was time to undress my treasure chest on the stage. And then Bam, my right pasty goes flying off into the audience blinding the front row, …..with my nipple. Needless to say it was one of the greatest tragedies to ever happen in Canadian History. Daniel MacIvor is writing a made for TV movie about it, called Priscilla Pussycat”s Treasure. Sarah Polly is playing me, and Daniel will be playing the part of the pasty and the audience. Ready for titties?

6. If you could try a different career on for a year, what would it be?

You know the girl that plays my name sake in the Archie comics? I hear she has got it made. Or, the clown that sweeps the terrible performers off the stage at the Apollo theatre, I could be his broom. Now, do you want to see my tomatoes or not?

Photo was taken by Chris Blanchnot