Cue the onslaught of why-you’re-single theories, because everyone has an explanation for your so-called gross social ineptitude. Here is how to get your loved ones to shut the fuck up.
If you’re operating an electric sander or a power drill and you want to keep your fingers, you have no choice but to be very present. It got me through the first stages of culture shock at island life and reality of living with a loved one dealing with cancer.
Jess Beaulieu wrestles with elaborate conspiracy theories about strangers on the TTC hating her natural scent, and her roommates taking revenge by consuming the last of her mayonnaise.
Leah Ruehlicke: “It all began when I got shortchanged on my cream cheese to bagel ratio on New Year’s Day, 2010. I was hungover. It was also my birthday.”
Six weeks later, with our eight boxes and four wheelie suitcases packed, Mom calls me and says that the cancer has spread to Dad’s spine.
The first time I said it and someone actually said it back, I didn’t know how to react. I had become so accustomed at this point to hearing “Aw, Jess, it’s nice that you have a crush on me but unfortunately I like penises/casual sex strictly/not you.”