The Toronto Islands are a tiny paradise with a front porch view of the big city. I’m reminded of this while I carry out bridesmaid duties for my dear friend Maya as she gets ready for her summer Island wedding.  Amongst an already fairy tale setting, made even better with champagne and an intentional panty flash, we get word that the wedding photog has arrived…

From this picturesque setting I am suddenly taken back to the concrete hallways of York University almost 10 years ago.

It was then that a beautiful young woman caught my eye, tearing through the Fine Arts building. Blonde ringlets, big blue eyes, heart printed cardigan and a warm smile…later that year, she would go on to grace the big screen (albeit at school) in a hit student slasher film.  She was the whole package and it wasn’t long before I designated her as my girl crush.  Sadly, different majors and busy schedules meant I didn’t see her as often as I would have liked over the next few years.

But alas… was it meant to be? There I am, in my bridesmaid dress, when in walks THE girl crush with her all her gear. She begins setting up as I watch in bewilderment. I learn that she has a name. It is Scarlet O’Neill, and she has swapped her acting BFA for a tremendously successful career in wedding photography. Throughout the day I observe her work.  She’s as nice as can be and very talented! 

Over the next few weeks Scarlet and I become friends, while the inner-undergrad-within me relishes in the ultimate girl crush win.  But more than anything I feel grateful to have made a new friend who is as creative as she is kind, and radiates enough positive energy to reverse the effects of global warming in the southern hemisphere. 

I also learn that in addition to weddings and engagements, Scarlet does boudoir style photography. And then it happens: Scarlet asks me to model for a boudoir shoot. 

Now, the hushed exhibitionist in me likes the idea, but the rest of me finds it terrifying!  My idea of sexy involves fried chicken, 30 Rock reruns, and bunny slippers.  But maybe it is time to bring sexy back. So I agree to the shoot.

And then the nerves take over.  What if I won’t know how to respond to direction?  What if I have no concept of my body and look like a contorted try-hard hunchback?  Should I drink heavily before or during the shoot to ease my nerves, and will the benefits outweigh the bloating??? I may be freaking out.

I immediately call Scarlet to get clarification on her editing process and to give the following direction: PHOTOSHOP EVERYTHING.  Sensing my tumult, she decides to help by providing a photo reference….of ANGELINA JOLIE (!!!).

After a brief spout of hyperventilation, I decide to at least try to get into character.  But how? I consider adopting a gaggle of babies to bring out the nurturing and responsible side of Angie’s appeal, but soon realize that my apartment is too small for child rearing on the Pitt scale.  Next, I try to remember if she drank or wore a vial of blood.  But this too is out of the question since it would take me days to track down Billy Bob Thornton and then win his trust. I just don’t have that kind of time. 

Next it is time to start practicing. I attempt to sexily slither around in the full-length bedroom mirror, but become quickly discouraged after my beefy life partner takes it upon himself to tutor me: less duck lips, more smizing! Apparently Tyra Banks comes in many forms, including a white bald guy. It is at this point that I decide to leave things to fate—and Scarlet’s genius.

She is, after all, one of the most talented people I know. Technical aptitude aside (she once lit a night engagement shoot using only car headlights and the photos are mind-blowingly beautiful), I believe that she has an innate gift for genuinely connecting with her subjects. A steady hand and an earnest love behind the camera.

For this reason, her shots never feel intrusive or inauthentic.  She’s able to capture raw, honest moments because of the comfortable, safe, and caring environment she creates at her shoots.  This certainly extends to her boudoir style photography.  She sees beauty in all women, and it is her objective to make them feel great about themselves.  Sure, the photos can be gifted to a beloved feline or human, but Scarlet hopes that the ladies ultimately choose the experience for themselves.

“There’s something so special about shooting a boudoir session with a woman,” Scarlet states giddily. “It’s one of my favourite things about my work: the opportunity to watch a woman’s perception of herself evolve before my eyes. Often women don’t realize how strong and sexy they are.

“If social media and public opinion can taint our perception of ourselves, then we feel as though we are never quite enough of what we hope to be.” She continues: “ It’s when they come back to pick up their photos and are able to actually look at these images of themselves, courageous and free, that they finally get how fabulous they are…being able to give them this opportunity, and to have captured this moment in time, is such an amazing gift.”

Our shoot together was no different. It took place in a cozy little suite at the Drake Hotel and was loads of fun. Within the first couple minutes my nerves melted away and I just went with it.  And I can honestly say, for all the esteem issues I had going in, the photos turned out great.  And even more importantly, what had been a chance encounter has since turned into one of the most meaningful friendships of my life. Gushing over.