by Monica Heisey 

It loomed over the road trips of my university career, mysterious and alluring. The Big Apple: what went on in there, besides the selling of 1,000,000+ pies? Did the world look different from on top of a big apple? What was inside it? Last week, all these questions and more were answered, as a last minute trip into Colbourne, Ont. brought us to my new favourite pit stop between Oshawa and Belleville.

As if the majestic grandeur of the apple itself and the promise of thousands of pastries wasn’t enough to draw you in, here are some other features that await you at the pie factory/theme park:

The Arcade
While I’m told it has tripled in size in recent months, the arcade features three games. Fans of foosball are in luck!

The Photographic Ode to Other Large Things
Did you know Johannesburg, South Africa is home to a gigantic soccer ball, and that Wahiawa, Hawaii proudly houses the World’s Largest Permanent Hedge Maze? Now you do, because you ate pie in this Hall of Wonders/cafeteria.

The Gift Shop (Oh, the gift shop)
I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed as hard in my life as I did while perusing this unending warehouse of AWESOME. In addition to the expected Big Apple memorabilia—featuring the Apple family, headed up by ‘Mr. Big Apple’—the gift shop has a vast selection of fur hats, hunting gear, cat-shaped night-lights, fancy tea paraphernalia and offensive t-shirts. We outfitted ourselves in some of the best ones, but I promise you there are so many more.

Mini Golf Course and Train Ride
While the mini golf course is pretty standard fare, the ‘train ride’ is a small section of track that travels in a loop around cement silhouettes of squirrels, raccoons, and other mid-sized wild animals. I asked the check out girl in the pie shop why we couldn’t ride the train, and she told us it only ran on weekends. When we reminded her it was Saturday, she just shrugged and said ‘Wwwwwwwwwelll…. Huh.’ Clearly a return visit is necessary.

LLAMAS (and general petting zoo)
Self-explanatory. Furry, loveable, and willing to turn on the ol’ cutesy-face for anyone with a fistful of pellets. Wash your hands before digging into more pie.

 The Big Apple is located at Exit 497 off the 401, and is opening a second location in Muskoka. Naturally, the party never stops: they’re open til 10 p.m. nightly.