Toronto Hit List: Stay Golden, Lick A Shot, Crush Party: Pajama Edition, Chronologic 5 Year Anniversary & more!

WEDNESDAY

10 pm HumbleMania 47 @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Live acoustic set by Allie Hughes + a very special announcement. Vinyl dance party afterwards!

10 pm Put A Bird On It! @ Cold Tea, 60 Kensington Ave. Paul Petro spins vinyl and Laura Cowell puts birds on things!

10 pm Hate The 80’s: A Dance Party @ Crawford, 718 College St. New wave, pop, post punk, and power pop. Dance to all your favourite 80’s tracks with a bunch of people you probably wont know.

THURSDAY

6 pm Prettied Up (Summer Pop-Up) Opening Reception @ Milk Glass Co., 1247 Dundas St. W. Pop-up featuring vintage clothing, printed tees, hand-made accessories, and art! Stay tuned for plenty of summer deals, fun one-day extras, musical guests, and an assortment of treats and beverages to enjoy. Until midnight. Pop-up runs until August 14th.

10 pm Sheroes #12: Nina Simone @ The Beaver, 1192 Queen St. W. The last Sheroes ever! Featuring “League of Legendary Ladies” karaoke (choose your own adventure from the imagination library: Nina, Joni, Tina, Madonna, Yoko, Dolly, Missy, etc.), performances, DJ sounds, installations, and visuals.

FRIDAY

8 pm Christie Ulicny @ C’est What, 67 Front St. Local folk-rock songstress Christie Ulicny performs. $10 at the door or online.

9 pm Bad Day 5 Year Anniversary & Fundraiser @ The Hoxton, 69 Bathurst St. Bad Day is celebrating 5 years of tears (and toasting to the future) with DJs Venus X, Babe Rainbow, and LBC & Steph. $10.

10 pm She Does the City Presents: Stay Golden @ The Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St. W. Last time, we got dressed in our Canadian Tuxedo, pretended we were in The Outsiders and danced exclusively to classic rock. This time we swapped in Blondie. Why? Look how sexy she is. It’s too hot to wear a tuxedo, so we are promoting denim cutoffs and sexiness you can smell. Still dad rock, but with some new wave, punk and glam rock thrown in…just to shake it up. $5.

10 pm Pirate Night @ 751 (upstairs), 751 Queen St. W. Up the anchors ye scurvy dogs! Come crack a keg of grog and curse the ghost of Davy Jones at 751’s first-ever Pirate Night. DJ Lushh spins some heavy pirate tunes. $9 rum and cokes, prizes for best dressed, and more. $2 gold coins if ye not in costume.

10 pm Lick A Shot @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. Millennial rap + new favourites + ratchet shit with DJs Geoff Snack, Vanity Muscles, and Andrew Roti.

10 pm Shindig! @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Special guest 45 selector, DJ Misty Rock n’ Roll shares her 50’s and 60’s R&B, garage, and rockabilly records for your dancing pleasure! Alongside resident 45 selectors Splattermonkey and Parkdale Funk. $5.

10 pm White Girl @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. Rap from 1993-2012 with DJs Patrick McGuire, itsmattlangille, and special guest Adam Jackson. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Switched On @ Camp 4, 1173 Dundas St. W. DJs Pammm and Angelo play indie rock and campus radio jams.

10 pm Sweet Beats @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. Beats + vegan cupcakes! DJs Michael Keshen and Eytan Tobin spin hip-hop, elextro, dancehall, new wave, R&B, and funk for you to eat cupcakes and dance to.

10 pm That’s Fresh! Double Shot Edition @ The Fountain, 1261 Dundas St. W. Remember how your favourite pop radio station would occasionally bless your ears with a “double shot” — back-to-back hits by the hottest artists? That’s the idea behind this edition of That’s Fresh!

10 pm Least Squares @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Seeking chemistry? Dial 1-900-LST-SQURE for meaningful 1-on-1 connections, x-files house, Italo drip, and brute-force disco romance. DJs Brandon Oliver and Andrew Wilson play the hits.

10 pm Happy Endings @ Bright Pearl Seafood Restaurant, 346 Spadina Ave. With DJs Scuba (Hotflush, UK), Egyptrixx (Night Slugs, TO), and Exeter (RBMA, TO). $15 advanced tickets at Rotate This, Soundscapes, Play De Record and online. For $15 reduced guestlist (subject to capacity), email names to guestlist@wearemansion.ca.

10 pm That Shit Cray @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. DJs Mensa and Amy Traphouse play 75 BPM everything with special guests Meka of 2dopeboyz and Lowkey of youheardthatnew. $5 before 10 pm, more after.

10 pm Jamz! @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. An anything goes, no bullshit, non-genre, dance ’til you drop, all your friends in one room, party hard, make the floor wet with sweat, shit show!

10 pm Taiza’s Hot Friday in July @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. DJ duo Taiza brings you the spiciest buffet of international dancefloor delights anywhere salad-bar: Monyaka right atcha, Panjabi hit squad, Reggay makossa, hydraulic funk, and more.

10 pm Shag Retro Dance Party @ Wayla, 996 Queen St. E. DJ Cory Activate plays tunes that span across the 80’s and 90’s. $5, with a portion of proceeds going to the Friends For Life Bike Rally. They’ll be raffling off two one-year BIXI Bike memberships.

10 pm Bring Your Own Vinyl @ 3030, 3030 Dundas St. W. BYO 7”, 45 or 33 and DJ OhSixteen will find a way to fit your song into his set (or at least will tell you really nicely why he can’t play it).

10:30 pm Fuck U Fridays @ Buddies In Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St. DJ Triple-X and guest Bruce La Bruce will ensure the dance floor gets wet and slippery with a sexual bumping and humping kinda beat. Erotic cabaret at midnight featuring Lexi Tronic, Judy Virago and crew (Lavender Blonde and Crazy Miss Daisy), Aviva Mirage, Connie Lingua, and more. Fuji Instax camera pics available to remind you of the antics you got up to. $5.

11 pm Songs: A Dance Party @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. The ultimate dance party, with special guests Teenage Kicks spinning and Bobby Kimberley picking the jams before and after. $5.

11 pm Itzsoweezee @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. A feel-good house party atmosphere! DJs Tom Wrecks and DeMiggs + guest Dubbel Dutch play music to make you dance, smile, and holler. For guest list linebypassemailguestlist@itzsoweezee.com (closes at 11:30 pm). $10.

SATURDAY

9 am Barns Art Market @ Artscape Wychwood Barn, 601 Christie St. Some of Toronto’s finest artists, craftspeople, designers and makers come together every month at the Artscape Wychwood Barns to exhibit and sell their work. Handcrafted and unique jewellery, ceramics, clothing, paintings, and more! Until 3 pm.

2 pm Birdbath @ Polson Pier (behind the Sound Academy), 11 Polson St. Birdbath is about: music, snacks, booze, sun, summer, pool, toys, DJs, Belvedere, mimosas, ping-pong, pool tables, bikinis, babes, caesars, fun, smiles, massages, tans, friends. Music courtesy of PG-13, ColeCo, Poupon, Xander Gatien, and Mack N Teevs. Parking and lockers available (bring your own lock). For day bed/cabana reservations, email josh@eventsbytouch.com. For $15 guestlist, email jonathanc@embracepresents.com. $10 advance tickets available online. $20 at the door.

9 pm Crush Party: Pajama Edition @ The Central, 603 Markham St. An event for people who want to make sex-positive like-minded friends. An invitation for any and all: hetero, homo, queer, trans, kinky, lesbian, gay, vanilla, bi, flexible, poly, and open minded young people (or young at heart). First floor will be full of slumber party activities: spin the bottle, truth or dare, Twister and hilarious 80’s board games. Second floor will be a dance floor with DJ Ray Ruby, make out corners, two patios, and the Twitter feed. Come dressed in your pajamas or just show up looking cute! Prizes for best dressed. (The venue has a no nudity rule, so please respect that!) $5.

9 pm Women’s Arm Wrestling Championship @ 751 (upstairs), 751 Queen St. W. Use your muscles to help others find their strength! Each wrestler dukes it out to the tune of her own theme song and brings her posse as back up. Event is open to everyone and fake names and costumes are highly encouraged! Pre-register online. $10 to watch, $5 to wrestle with all proceeds going to BecauseIAmAGirl, whose social movement is designed to unleash the power of girls and women to claim a brighter future for girls in the developing world.

10 pm Bad Taste @ 751 (downstairs), 751 Queen St. W. Gully rap music all night with double barrel pump up selectors Caff and Walmer Convenience. $5, with all proceeds going to BecauseIAmAGirl.

10 pm Laytheseknight @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. DJs Patrick McGuire and Famous Players (Jeff Hayward and Adam Jackson) drop soft music for you to dance on tables to.

10 pm Chronologic 5 Year Anniversary @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. The dance party through the ages celebrates five years! Pop and antipop from since the end of history (i.e. music from 1890 to 2013, played in chronological order). $5.

10 pm Panic @ Velvet Underground, 510 Queen St. W. The ultimate retro party with DJ Lazarus spinning the kind of retro that changed your life. 80’s, 90’s, new wave, classic alternatives, ska, Brit-pop, dance, shoegaze, post-punk and more. This month’s spotlight is Nine Inch Nails. $5 before 11 pm, $10 after.

10 pm Gay Nite @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. Dancing and drinking in a non-breeding friendly environment! Prizes for most gay + 4 three-day passes to Osheaga to be given away. With DJs Boots Boogie, Betti Forde, Bear Wittness, Cozmic Cat, Dislexia, Fawn BC, and Shanelle Williams.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. A sexy, sweaty dance party! 60’s pop, soul, and rock n’ roll played for you by the Bangs & Blush ladies. $5.

10 pm Love Handle @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJs Catalist and Famous Lee throw an all-vinyl boogie funk dance party.

10 pm Pressure Drop @ The Embassy, 223 Augusta Ave. DJs Chuck Boom, Morningside 116 and Guv’nor General play only the very ruffest, tuffest selections from across the different eras and styles of Jamaican music: ska, rocksteady, roots reggae, dubwize, rub-a-dub, dancehall, mento, capypso, soul, funk, and more. All vinyl and dubplate selection.

10 pm Ice Cold Dranks 1 Year Anniversary / Double Dragons @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, DJs Ry-Fi and FBomb play the bangers you love in celebration of Ice Cold Dranks 1 year anniversary! Hip-hop, old school, R&B, and party anthems to make you thirsty. Downstairs, DJs Freeza Chin and Shai (a.k.a. the Double Dragons) play the best in reggae, dancehall, and soca + a touch of hip-hop and old school. $5.

10 pm Brendan Canning Presents: DJ Fathom @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Broken Social Scene’s Brendan Canning joins forces with DJ Fathom for a night of vinyl sounds.

10 pm True School Hip Hop @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. DJ Romeo and guests spin the real head nod material.

10 pm Soulvation @ The Press Club, 850 Dundas St. W. DJs Laura and Cindy spin Motown classics and northern soul floor-shakers all night long. Dance-offs and conga lines welcome!

11 pm Essence Brown @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. Sexy, smooth, seductive hip-hop, R&B, and dancehall with your hosts Manila Ice, Hoi King, and Turfmayne. PWYC.

11 pm Evening Standard: Hot Party @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. HOT action from guest DJs Parasol (from the roving party series Room Temperature) and Lapelle + residents Members Only. $10.

SUNDAY

11 am Massive Clothing Sale @ Image Gear Inc., 358 Dufferin St., Suite 103. Clothes and jewelry new and old, thrifted and vintage, of all sizes. With brands like Jeffrey Campbell, Stylestalker, For Love & Lemons, Mink Pink, H&M, Cheap Monday, American Apparel, and more. Until 5 pm.

1 pm Cruise For Boobs @ Aboard the Captain Matthew Flinders, 207 Queens Quay W. Discover Toronto’s stunning waterfront from a lake perspective in support of the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation of Ontario. Cruise For Boobs is a four-hour afternoon cruise and white + pink party (please dress accordingly). Drink and eat to your hearts’ content while listening to the music stylings of DJ Your Boy Brian and the island sounds of the performers from the amazing iDrum group. $100 tickets available online.

2 pm Sheroes Virtual Season / All-Day & Night Art & Music Festival @ El Gordo Fine Foods, 214 Augusta Ave. (2 to 9 pm) & Cecil Street Community Centre, 58 Cecil St. (9 pm to 1 am). Co-presented by Sheroes and Whippersnapper Gallery, the party goes all day and night! Featuring performances, sounds, installations, and visuals (check out their Facebook page for a complete list). Day is free, night is $8 in advance or $10 at the door.

2 pm Sunkissed @ Polson Pier (behind the Sound Academy), 11 Polson St. The first edition of the Sunkissed pool party! With DJs Wristpect, R2, Glew, Peter Kash (Flow 93.5FM), Mix N Match, and KidZero. Featuring an oasis swimming pool, cabana beds, bottle service booths, beach balls, super soakers, and a waterfront summer patio. For $25 advanced tickets, contact Marquee Media at (416) 904-9993 or info@themarqueemedia.com.

8 pm Chicka Boom @ Free Times Cafe, 320 College St. An all-female comedy show! Stand-up comedics from Chrissie Cunningham, singing and facial expressions from Natasha Negovanlis, the epitome of “sketch” from Hayley Kellett and Felicity Penman, more jokes no chair from Lianne Mauladin, poetry from Cathy Petch, and headliners Jan Caruana and Lisa Merchant. PWYC.

9:30 pm Crosswires #23 @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. A Sunday night series brought to you by Doc Pickles, co-founder and emcee of of Wavelength. Featuring performances by Suncapades, The Muckabouts, Shbti, and The Walls Are Blonde + General Chaos Visuals and DJ selector Acacia Christensen. Sponsored by Steam Whistle. PWYC.

~ Caitlyn Holroyd

(For event submissions, email caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com)

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