Last month, our first Womanizer x Shedoesthecity boudoir photo shoot featured Hallae, who shared how grief over the death of her mom affected her, and how she slowly began to regain her spirit and self-assurance. For August, we met up with Kosi, who is determined to shed the BS beauty myths that society has fed her over the years. Now, she’s aiming to celebrate herself for who she is. “I believe as women we judge ourselves WAY too much. I’d much rather women hear a real story than the fabricated perfection that we are fed on the daily,” says Kosi. “We’ve been programmed to feel like we’re under this great obligation as women to look and be a certain way. And that’s not our fault!” Damn right.
SDTC: It’s not easy to shut down the voices that dictate what we should look like. How have you managed this?
Kosi: From stretch marks to Endometriosis bloat and incision scars, it has been a long road for me, but I’m finally happy where I am. In my self-growth, I have had the opportunity to read many self discovery books, change my eating habits, start a new job which I love, and am in the midst of creating my first solo business venture. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life and it came from what I like to call “pretty hurts.” I want to represent women who live with debilitating pain and—in spite of the pain—there is still great joy. I want to show how our beauty is from within, regardless of our physical and emotional scars.
How did the shoot make you feel?
The shoot made me feel like laughing. I’m a goofy girl at heart, so trying to pose my face was a challenge. I couldn’t help but giggle and dance and because of that, my favourite pictures are the ones with me smiling. I truly think the best thing anybody can wear is a good smile.
For those who lack confidence or are way too hard on themselves, what’s your advice for finding self-love? Gaining confidence?
Tell that little voice in your head trying to make you feel small to shut up. Seriously. Say it out loud, if you must. Create some affirmations, and put them up everywhere your eyes can see. Repeat them, and hold yourself accountable so that every time you speak negatively to yourself, you say something positive too. We are all divinely made and therefore we should love and appreciate ourselves just the way we are.
When it comes to sexuality, what’s something you’ve uncovered?
I don’t think there is just ONE person for you. I think there are several someones you are meant to meet, share time with and learn from.
What advice do you want to give your younger self?
Love yourself, honey… Truly get to know yourself and fall in love with yourself. Because that self-love is the bridge to every other relationship in your life to come.
Secondly, never stop dancing; on the street, while waiting in line for a coffee. That little shimmy is you. It’s your joy bubbling out of you and you should never be ashamed of it.
What have you been enjoying most this summer, and what’s still on your list?
Summer is the best time of the year. You can dance in the moonlight, go on mini road trips to Niagara or Prince Edward County and drink all of the iced coffees that your body can handle. I still have a few trips and nature hikes planned, and then I swing into TIFF prep. I’m truly enjoying each day as they come.
What turns you on?
Honesty. Someone who is not afraid to ask for and seek what they want regardless of what society tells them they should want. Jason Momoa also turns me on.
We’re proud to partner with Womanizer for this year-long series. Unlike any other sex toy, the Womanizer offers touchless stimulation through something called Pleasure Air™ Technology. It’s THE BEST. You really need to try to understand. Find out more here.