We haven’t spent too much time together lately. This is my fault, and I’m feeling pretty bummed about it.
Here’s the thing: There are certain things in life that make me insanely and weirdly happy – catching up with old friends. Tacos. Wheat beer. A bag of potato chips. Books. Reuniting. Beach vball. Music. Dancing to said music. New shoes. Pedicures.
I love these things and because I do, I dedicate time to all of them.
I read before bed and catch up with people over pints of wheat bear. I call my long-distance best friends on my walk home and bike to the beach every Monday to serve that vball over the net. I go to shows and cheers my friends and date the bartender because he’s cute and life is short and why not?
I obviously always make time for tacos.
But you know what? There’s one thing in my life that I love almost as much as I love that bag of Lays, yet it never takes priority. It just kind of exists in my life whenever I get around to investing in it.
That’s right baby – I’m talking about you.
I genuinely love you. I get cranky without you and my skin breaks out like crazy and I drink extra coffee, thus OD-ing on cream and my dairy intolerance gets super, super pissed.
It’s a vicious cycle. I’ve fallen so in love with my life that I can’t seem to find anything I’m willing to give up in order to hang with you more. But I’m working on it.
I mean, I won’t lie – I went through a (very) long phase where I thought I didn’t need you. I thought that 2 a.m. poutine was more appealing than those extra hours with you, that I needed that fifth cocktail more than I needed to hurry home and pay you a visit.
I once read a yearbook quote that went like this: “Live, love, laugh, sleep later.” And although I hate inspirational quotes and even moreso HATE seeing the words live, love, laugh in that sequence, I loved this quote. It felt empowering and liberating and like a big “FUCK YA LIVE YOUR LIFE” moment.
BUT. I’ve come to realize that I’m having a hard time living and loving and laughing after such little time with you.
So Sleep, it’s come down to this. This is my problem. I’ll take the blame for the awkward air between us. But please know I’m working on it. Know that things are changing, and, if you’re willing, I’d love to ditch a few things in my life to make my schedule a tad more open for you.
Perhaps, if it’s possible, it’ll make me love life even more.
See you in a few hours – we can chat then.