Even with a minor setback like getting fired in your career, there’s still a way to pick yourself up and find a meaningful new profession with enough income to support a monthly subscription to Netflix, a TTC pass and vanilla almond milk from Whole Foods.
Before I tell you about the women who’ve risen from unemployment or demotion; the truth is, being fired is as close to as many of us will ever get to the eerie depths of rock bottom. We all know that unemployment is a self-esteem laxative and the last thing anybody wants to do is tell their parents that their boss tossed them out.
But take my advice: Stop weeping and read these true stories about women who were axed then gracefully rose from the metaphorical ashes to find success in new places. Get ready ladies, if you’ve recently lost a job (not by choice) and you’ve also lost faith in good fortune; there’s a treasure chest filled with sparkling diamonds and pistachio gelato at the end of this rainbow.
Researching the injustices of humankind as a secretary in 1987, J.K Rowling was fired from London’s Amnesty International. It wasn’t because she was rude, unprofessional or senseless; she was busy writing stories during work hours (we’ve all been there). Not so secretly, she spent her daytime writing witchcraft and wizardry, only to frustrate her colleagues by a perpetual state of distraction. That’s when they fired her – and Harry Potter was born.
Just shy of 9 months into her new role as Junior Fashion Editor, iconic Vogue fashion editor and chief Anna Wintour was sacked from Harper’s Bazaar. A little “too edgy” with her photo shoots, Editor Tony Mazalla fired her. Wintour even went as far to say that everyone should get fired at least once in their career, “it’s a great learning experience.” Although, if you haven’t gotten fired yet, don’t purposely try and get fired – this is not recommended by anybody.
Surprised? Even the glowing, windswept talk show queen of daytime television was fired at the fresh-faced age of 22. Unfit for a news anchor reporter, the Baltimore’s WJZ-TV couldn’t deal with Oprah and took her off the air; only to offer a less glamorous position as a daytime television host. Well then, that worked out didn’t it?
To be fair, everyone at some point in their teens has likely been fired from a minimum wage job, but it’s worth mentioning that even Madonna, the material mother of rebel pop, was terminated from Dunken Donuts after squirting jelly donut filling all over a customer.
Don’t really know who she is, but whatever – she’s rich! And there’s only one word that describes her and it’s “BOSS”. In 2011, Krawcheck was demoted from the Bank of America – nonetheless, she felt like she was fired and since then has become a business leader at 85 Broads. You go girl!
I know, she’s a muppet pig that is stitched together with pink fluffy fleece. BUT – even Miss Piggy was fired at one point in her career. After spreading romantic rumours to “gossip papers” about her scandalous relationship with Kermit the Frog, Kermit fired Miss Piggy and replaced her with Loretta Swift, some chick from M*A*S*H. In the end of the episode everyone sings together and the world is okay again.
Looking ahead to the glorious months of summer, I’ll admit; it’s hard to see the glitter lining when you don’t know how you’re going to score a new career without telling them your last job dumped you because they thought you sucked. It’s humiliating, but like Miss Piggy, who found ways to overcome the tragedy of life’s greatest season finales, they found a way through.
And you will too.
Sarah Brown is a confidently confused twenty-something living in Chinatown; she loves mom jeans and hates networking.