By Heidi Craig
Greetings aspiring scholars! If you’re new to Montreal, the first thing you’ll notice is our vaguely European joie de vivre, which roughly translates into “ability to get thoroughly soused for real cheap,” and with much less effort than in other parts of Canada. Beer and wine for sale at the supermarket? Mais oui! Liquor stores open on Sundays? Bien sur!

A 15-pack of Tremblay beer for $12.99? Euh…Let’s just say I wouldn’t recommend it, but some lessons one has to learn on one’s own.

If you’re new to the art of bargain boozing, a visit to one of Montreal’s many dive bars is the perfect place to begin. These are glorious dumps where you’ll find cheap beer, great tunes, iffy décor and a smattering of shady regulars. Here’s a list, by no means exhaustive, of some of our favourite haunts, divided up by neighborhood for maximum convenience.

St-Henri
Blackjack (3814 Notre-Dame W) –Don’t let grisly homicide dissuade you from visiting the excellent Blackjack, my preferred Montreal dive. Cheap beer is the main draw for most, while gambling addicts will enjoy the selection of VLT machines, and discriminating meatheads will appreciate the danse contact facilities next door.

Concordia Ghetto/Shaughnessy Village
Boite à Karaoke (2071 Ste Catherine W) – What could be more fun than a big ol’ box of karaoke? Nothing. Impress your friends by belting it out on stage with songs chosen from one of Boite à Karaoke’s dog-eared binders. Manic MCs urge audiences to “Make some noise!!!” for each and every performer, and the insanely cheap pitchers ensure that your off-key version of Amish Paradise is well received.

La Station des Sports (2051 Ste Catherine W)– Domestic pints for $3.50, $4.50 nachos, grilled cheese for a toonie & the big game on the big screen. Need I say more? Those fearful of the sketchy ‘hood can breathe easy; a police cruiser is permanently stationed outside to deal with drunken rabble-rousers.

Plateau
Petite Idée Fixe (4857 Avenue du Parc) & Prime Time (5008 Avenue du Parc). Though dive bars have mostly been priced out of the Plateau, if you go a little westward to Avenue du Parc you’ll discover Petite Idée Fixe and Prime Time, the toxic twins of Montreal dive bars. Petite Idée Fixe (not to be confused with Idée Fixe, a video store on Ontario Street) has a FREE jukebox, big bottles of Labatt 50 and buy-10-get-1-free frequent customer cards. Prime Time offers a sweet outdoor patio (as does Petite Idée Fixe), where one can enjoy an inexpensive brewski while being serenaded by the dulcet tones of the 80 bus whizzing by.

Bifteck (3702 St Laurent)- No Montreal student experience would be complete without a rowdy, bleary-eyed night at Bifteck. No longer as grimy as it once was, Bifteck is still the sentimental favorite among dive bar goers. Cheap pitchers, 2-for-1 mixed drink specials and suspiciously free popcorn. Also one of the few places left on St Laurent to play pool.

Barfly (4062 St Laurent) – Functional pool tables can also be found at Barfly, though live music is Barfly’s true raison d’être – along with ridiculously cheap beer, rumored to be the cheapest on the Main. Blues night every Wednesday, bluegrass night every Sunday, and an assortment of live bands almost every other day of week cram into this tiny, sweaty venue.

NDG
Spurs (7360 St Jacques) – If you’re living near Concordia’s Loyola campus, toss on some chaps and trundle down to Spurs, St Jacques Street’s finest country-western bar. Spurs plays host to live country and rock bands from the local music scene, while patrons do their best Hank Williams impression on Sunday karaoke night.