by Annie Oakley
My boyfriend bought me a butt toy, and then I had to use it. We’d done that hot and heavy talk about trying out anal while we were getting it on, and I guess he figured if I couldn’t handle a little beginner’s toy, I couldn’t handle the real deal. Did he ever call my bluff. He picked out the “Pip” – named after a suitably nonthreatening Dickens character, it’s a little silicone butt plug designed for beginners. Nonetheless, I was still nervous about using it. We stowed it away in my bedside table, and I forgot that it existed. Until, one night, he got me drunk.
We have the place to ourselves, and we’re on to our second bottle of red wine when the fancy strikes us to go upstairs to the bedroom. We start to engage in some good old fashioned drunk sex, and as he’s fucking me from behind he reaches goes for the bedside table, and I hear the familiar hummm of the little Mia vibe. Blame it on the alcohol, but I’m getting really into things, I feel like I could come at any second and then – he hits me with the Pip.
I’m thrown back to reality with this overwhelming trifecta of dick, vibrator and butt plug going on all at once. “How does that feel, baby?” he asks, breathy in my ear. “Uhhh, it’s a bit MUCH,” I manage, dropping the vibrator and giving him a helpless look.
It’s got to be handed to the Pip, it wasn’t uncomfortable, even for a girl uninitiated in the rites of anal. It’s just over 3 inches long and not even an inch around, so it’s not much bigger than a finger, the surprise of which most of us have encountered during sex anyway – aren’t boyfriends cheeky? I’m not sure that butt toys are my thing, and we finished things off without it, but I couldn’t have asked for a nicer beginner toy to have sprung on me in the heat of the drunk moment.
You can pick up The Pip at Good for Her (175 Harbord St) or online at goodforher.com.