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Author | Illustration Sarah Brown

Queer Girl’s Guide to Dating in the 6ix

So, it’s a full-on Canadian winter and you are ready to get down and dirty and maybe soft and snuggly with some pretty lady that you picked up with your smooth and suave ways. Or you’re new to the city and you just want somebody to love. Or you haven’t been single in God knows how long and you don’t even know what the wading pool of lesbians is like these days.

Have no fear, gals. Coming from a certified expert (in getting dumped and having to jump back into the dating scene again), here’s the queer girl’s guide to dating in the 6ix, ’cause we all know there’s no other city like Toronto.

Lesbian dance events

Depending on your character and style, lesbian dance events can be either the bane or the reason of your existence. For me, it’s the former. But I appreciate a good gay dance party when I know I want to be taking someone home that night. Events like Cherrybomb or those weird DJ nights at the Steady are like the queer girl equivalent of straight nightclubs. Everybody here just wants to get it in, and that’s cool too – just remember that and don’t expect the club to nurse your broken heart and offer you some emotional consolation. A hangover and some physical stress relief is all you’re really going to get here.

OkCupid

Right. So people can be conflicted about online dating, and that’s cool. Here’s the truth: a lot of lesbian couples in this city got together with the help of the internet. Heck, a lot of straight couples in this city got together with the help of the internet! My belief is this: if she doesn’t have wifi material, she’s not wifey material. OkCupid is great. Though sometimes the pickings are slim, there’s always a new harvest coming out (ugh, I’m disgusting).

Change your location

After some years of being a professional lesbian in Toronto and meeting some other lesbians and talking about lesbian things, I’ve learned some things about the queer lady community in the 6ix: There are different cliques of lesbians in the city. So if you’ve exhausted the supply of sexy ladies in the Church/Wellesley area, or if that scene just isn’t for you, there are spots in the west end (along Dundas and Queen West and even Dufferin) that you can switch it up to and maybe see some new faces.

I also recently learned that there are lesbians on the Danforth. I would recommend checking out Pape Station and maybe hitting up a used bookstore somewhere along there. If you’re looking for some bookish gays, you’ll find your dreamy, dark-haired, bespectacled babe somewhere in this hood. Maybe.

Don’t be clingy

Toronto girls are fickle, selfish, rude, and super hot. The last thing any of them want is a stage five clinger. Play hard to get and soon you’ll be fighting them off.

Be creative!

Oh, and you know what else Toronto girls are? Creative and ambitious. Chances are, the girl you’re currently pursuing is a wannabe DJ (haha), clothing designer, artist, folk singer, chef, or whatever more. Indulge those passions! Maybe you like pop punk more than indie plink-plink folk songs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t support your bae and her creative fusion. Remember, to get with a Toronto girl, you gotta get her to like you. And she’s not gonna like you if you don’t take an interest in her passions.

Lesbians love brunch

Well, Toronto in general loves brunch. But lesbians loooooove brunch. I always see a plethora of lesbians in various brunch spots on Sundays while I’m walking to a different brunch spot with fewer lesbians in it (impossible). Anyway, a good way to charm the pants off a girl is to invite her to brunch (before or after your sexy, sexy night together, heh heh heh).

Avoiding weird lesbians

Remember, dating is just as much about knowing where to meet babes as it is about knowing who to avoid. Weird lesbians are OUT THERE. The clingers, the ones who want you to move in in two weeks (or maybe you like that. I don’t know your life), the ones with a sex drive you can’t satisfy even with all your weight lifting, the ones with no sex drive, the ones with 12 cats (one for every breakup), the ones who make you a thick, detailed scrapbook after you’ve been dating for a month and a half – they’re always lurking. Usually at Michaels, so just stay away.

1 comments
Jess Harvey
Jess Harvey

spot on about the "selfish, fickle, and rude" part.