This past weekend my dude and I traveled to Halifax where we walked around the city for seven hours straight, posed for ridiculous pictures under a giant plaster wave, stuffed ourselves with lobster, scallops and muscles, plus drank our weight in booze. Twice. But without a doubt the highlight was the actual reason for our visit – watching two of our very best friends get hitched.
It was the most memorable and unique marriage ceremony I’ve ever attended. They chose a little park outside of Halifax to exchange vows and invited only close family and friends to create an extremely intimate setting. The bride and groom walked down the aisle arm in arm, choosing to be together for the celebration from very start to very end. The service itself was mellow and unhurried, filled with stories about their relationship and hopeful thoughts for the future. They exchanged rings they had made for each other (check out Toronto’s Devil’s Workshop for info on making your own wedding rings!) and, once pronounced husband and wife, led the entire wedding party on a twenty-minute walk to the reception hall, stopping for impromptu photo-ops along the way. After dinner (amazing crêpes made to order on the spot) most of the wedding party commenced pub and bar hopping all over Halifax. We ended the evening at a dance club at 2AM, rockin’ out to Paradise City.
Nothing went wrong because nothing could go wrong. Everyone, especially the bride and groom, simply glided with anything and everything that unfolded in the moment.
Case in point 1: The week before the wedding the bride still didn’t have a dress. "What if you don’t find anything?" I asked her nervously. "Oh, then I’ll just wear my mom’s wedding dress or something else I’ve got available." she answered breezily, like it was the last thing on her mind.
Case in point 2: The night before the wedding the couple still hadn’t come up with their vows. "How’s your writing going?" I asked the groom. "Well, we were having trouble putting our feelings into words, so we called the minister a few hours ago and asked him to make them up for us." he answered nonchalantly.
Although this degree of easygoingness would probably give me a heart attack, I think there’s something really important to learn in all this. As a person who is addicted to scheduling every minute of every day, this weekend was a testament to the joys of slowing down and being totally committed to the present – especially when it comes to relationships. It was a reminder of soaking in cuddles in the morning with my boyfriend before I get out of bed, of calling him up for spontaneous adventures whenever I feel the urge, and of riding out my delicious orgasms instead of trying to hurry them. It was a reminder to give up on trying to coordinate "perfection" and instead realize there is messy and joyous perfection in each moment if I simply allow myself to go with the flow.
So this week, back in Toronto, I’m going to focus on letting go of the past and future to live in my relationship NOW. After all, if I don’t, I might miss it entirely. Cheers and thank you to the fabulous newlyweds, who, by including me in their celebration, have reminded me of some important things about love that I’d forgotten.