It all started this past Christmas when the boy bought me not just Season One, but Season One AND Two of the best HBO show in the whole entire world. It continued into January as I slowly worked my way through each of those episodes while he lurked in the background, becoming increasingly intrigued. By Season Two he’d finally migrated to the couch to properly analyze Carrie’s initial relationship with Big alongside me.

Soon we not only looked forward to Sex and the City time together, we downright craved it. I’d rush home from work and he’d already have the next episode cued up and paused at exactly the right moment (which, if you’re wondering, occurs on the black screen just before the title comes up). And when it came to eating, well who has time to cook nutritiously satisfying meals when you’re watching Carrie and the Girls? Instead we learned our favorite take out numbers by heart and kept a consistent kitty of at least a hundred bucks in small bills to pay and tip the delivery guy with. The only time we actually left the apartment was to purchase the next season of the show (the one thing we just couldn’t wait for a delivery guy to bring).

By the fourth season it was obvious to everyone (but us) that we had become CARRIE BRADSHAW TURNED US INTO FATTIESITIS victims. Classic warning signs for couples who fall prey to this disease are as follows:

1. While Carrie never gets through an episode without her friends Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha, you never get settled on the couch without your friends Double Cheese, Hawaiian, or Meat Lovers.

2. When Carrie loses Aden you drown your sorrows by feeding each other Rold Golds dunked into Nestle Quick Chocolate Sauce.

3. While Samantha has multiple orgasms, all you have are multiple ice cream stains on your favorite pajama shirts.

4. You both feel better during the season Miranda has a baby because it means you can all be chunky together (difference = she gave birth, you ate copious amounts of Oreos).

5. You conquer your boredom of Carrie and Alexander Pa-What-The-Fuck’s relationship by devouring several packages of Oscar Myers (this is also a tribute to the fact he’s a big wiener).

6. While the girls are looking skinner and skinner in their Dolce & Gabbana dresses, your lululemon sweats are getting tighter and tighter (aren’t they supposed to be stretchy?!). Your dude on the other hand doesn’t notice his expanding waistline because he now watches everything Harry Goldenblatt style (a.k.a. naked). This is because none of his pants – sweat or otherwise – fit anymore.

Most couples live in denial of FATTIESITIS until they have watched the very last episode on the very last DVD, and maybe even the special features a few times over. But once the disease has reached this advanced stage, the only real cure is to turn to old fashioned remedies – regular exercise and a healthy diet.

But if you’re one of the lucky couples who identifies with the warning signs in the first or second season, congratulations, you’re ahead of the game. To battle FATTIESITIS in it’s early stages simply make some simple changes to your Sex and the City viewing routine. Focus on getting take out from the neighborhood sushi restaurant instead of the neighborhood pizzeria, scoop up a stationary exercise bike for cheap on Craigslist and use it on alternate episodes, and make sure to put Carrie on pause every once in awhile to have some strenuous sex IN the city to work off any other lurking calories.

The bottom line? This disease can be worth it. With the long-awaited Sex and the City movie coming out in May, one must make certain sacrifices to make sure they are adequately prepared for the big event.