“Do you think we’re right for each other?”

I’m chopping up vegetables for our stir-fry dinner while he sits working on his computer at the kitchen table. Sadly, this question doesn’t catch me off guard at all, being that we have the conversation at least once a month – it’s all a part of my boyfriend’s grass-is-greener-complex.

Sometimes, I answer sensitively (“Well, I think we have a lot of qualities that we both want in the long term”). Sometimes, I turn the question around (“Well love, what do YOU think?”). Sometimes, I use reverse psychology (“Nope. I’m just with you for the moment because you know how to file taxes and fix my computer”). And sometimes, like tonight, I’m just in no mood for bullshitting.

“I don’t know,” I say very matter-of-fact while I attack a carrot, “but I DO know that we’re going to be stuck with each other until the end of time.”

He’s taken aback. I’m not sticking to the script. “Um, why do you say that?” he asks.

“Because I know I want to end up with you, and YOU know you don’t have the balls to actually leave me.”

As soon as I’ve said it I realize I sound like a crazy, obsessive person and he sounds like a battered and abused woman (with malfunctioning balls), but the thing is – it’s TRUE! I have known I want to grow old with this man from even before our relationship started. Not in a creepy, stalker-ish way but in a calm way that I feel in the bottom of my feet. As for him, well, he’s a guy… He knows we’re fucking fantastic together, but the possibility that I may be the last woman he sleeps with for the rest of his life terrifies him.

He’s silent for a good long while. Finally he gets up from the table, puts his arms around me, and gives me some neck nibbles before responding, “Would you mind cutting those peppers a little smaller?”

We enjoy our dinner in relationship peace while watching Apple Trailers on his computer (honestly addictive and will keep you busy for WEEKS), and I take solace in knowing this has been the shortest and most satisfying grass-is-greener conversation EVER.

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  1. Angie
    November 25, 2009

    you will be forever cutting up those vegetables smaller 🙂

  2. A Nonny Mouse
    January 13, 2010

    We have asked ourselves that before. I’m in the UK going through immigration to move to the States and she’s in Washington State. We have some things in common but not a great deal – we are both crafty (like to make things, she crochets, I knit. Just scarves and phone pouches though) we met through Harry Potter fiction, so that’s something else in common.
    Being apart is hard but we know that we’ll be together soon. We have both had bad past experiences in relationships and had past trauma’s as individuals but it’s all behind us since we’ve found each other.
    We never feel that the grass is greener, because we are happy with who we are and where we are at. We feel that we are each other’s greener grass. We need to be with each other to feel better.
    We know that we are going to be stuck with each other and hmm. I honestly don’t know if either of us could actually leave the other. I don’t want to think about that.
    We talk about anything that worries us, if there’s something wrong or if there’s some sort of habit that I have that is annoying. (Putting the loo seat down all the time is one, because her cat drinks out of it. Fresh cold water. Mm hmm.)

    I’m not scared that she’ll be the last woman I’ll ever sleep with. I embrace it with my arms as wide open as I can get them. I welcome it and need that security. It’s the not being together that terrifies me.

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