Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven’t written in so long-but I’ve been in Europe! Let me catch you up on my sexy adventures so far…

I left Toronto two and a half weeks ago with my girlfriend Buttercup to visit Lagos Portugal, London England, and Barcelona Spain. We first flew to Lisbon, where we had to take a five hour train ride to the Algarve. We sat down, and lucky us-across the aisle was an adorable Brit named Finn. He was only 20, but was also heading to Lagos. When we finally arrived, we said goodbye, and I regretted not asking him for his number. Even though at this point we’d been up for over 24 hours, Buttercup and I decided to hit the bars once we’d settled into our room. We had just ordered our second round of giant Cosmos at ‘The Red Eye’, when in walked our old pal Finn with his friends. After a couple more drinks we followed them to another bar called ‘Joe’s Garage’. Its basically Lagos’ equivalent to The Brunny-DIRTY. Buttercup and I were two of the the mere handful of chicks in this bar full of sweatty hot guys. We somehow lost Finn, so Buttercup found me the hottest guy in the bar and pointed me in his direction. After a few minutes we were grinding…then making out…and half an hour and too many glasses of Sangria later I was telling him to go find a condom. Buttercup and I were sharing a bed, so I took him to out balcony. "What’s my name?" he asked. "I honestly have no idea", I replied. It turned out to be Blake. He was 23, very tanned, and British, but that’s about all I remember. I honestly don’t think I’d recognize him if I saw him again. He went down on me for a while, until I couldn’t stand it and requested him to fuck me. "Ummmm, I already blew it in the rubber." With his accent, that statement almost seemed cute. It was probably for the best. The other nights in Portugal weren’t nearly as interesting, but I had such an amazing time that I decided to come back. In fact, I’m writing from Lagos now! I still have to tell you about London and Barcelona, but right now I’m off to the beach to look at sexy tanned men.