Recently I was whisked away to Florida on a family vacation, leaving my dude to fend for himself dans our shoe box Toronto apartment. Upon my return we forged into a solid three-day stint of frantically ripping each other’s clothes off. It was awesome.

However this sexual smorgasboard was as out of place in our apartment as the dead Fern beside the television (a Christmas gift from his mother that we inevitably killed a month after receiving it). This was because while our cohabitation habits (me wearing his socks, me wearing his sweatshirts, him wearing my underwear – ha kidding! I hope…) had skyrocketed over the past 8 months, our coital count was steadily decreasing. But aside from maxing out my bank account to fly far, far away from him so I can eventually enjoy a brief sexually charged reunion – what’s a girl to do?

To solve the problem I tried popping a few of these SEX STEROIDS and low and behold a few other things around the house started "popping" too…

• Take one of the many amazing workshops offered at "Come as You Are" or better yet, make him take one. I highly suggest the "How to Eat a Peach workshop with Mirdori", which gave my dude a whole bag of new licks – I mean tricks. 😉

• Go on a proper date. Trust me, I know how friggin’ tempting it is to grab pizza on your way home from work and spend the evening half-passed out on the couch together watching Dancing With the Stars, but seriously, dates do make a difference. Get guessied up so you feel like the sexy vixen you are (trust me, he’ll notice), and enjoy the new conversation topics that inevitably materialize once you’ve gotten outside of your cohabitational comfort zone.

• Go out with girlfriends and leave him home alone. This will leave you feeling re-juiced and refreshed; plus who doesn’t love crawling into bed with a slight buzz on from those two glasses of dinner wine, knowing you have someone to seduce?

• Once a week (bare minimum), tell him you need the place to yourself for a few hours. Then do and eat whatever the hell you want without having to worry about pleasing or appeasing anyone else. I know every time I’m granted some extra space it’s much easier to see that I do indeed have room for someone else in it.

Feel free to share any other SEX STEROIDS you use to pump you up, I will use all the drugs I can get.