The Classiest of Lady-Porn

Being incredibly maladjusted socially (and physically), I spend a lot of time indoors watching television. Did you know that on the myriad of channels out there, there’s one called TMN? And this TMN, late at night, shows a little something called pornography. Um, that shit’s gross! And not just because lady parts scare me (but… Read More »

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The Gay Fountain of Youth

I have only ever been into older guys. The age varies but in my salad days, I was with guys more than double my age. Yes, serious father issues abound. As I age though, I have to imagine the guys I like will get younger, or at least get closer to my age. This new… Read More »

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The Ancient Japanese Art of Karaoke

Being all Japanese and shit (read the column name and/or meet me in real life), I feel attached to a lot of our ancient cultural ceremonies. The samurai, the beauty of the language, the art… But all of these pale in comparison to the ancient art of karaoke. And I’m here (you lucky girls) to… Read More »

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Take a Centrum, Have a Caesar

An Anti-Gym Manifesto Over the last year or two, I’ve talked about my slavish devotion to the gym, trying to eat right, trying to not drink or smoke so much… all that shit. But being that I’m wishy-washy and a bit of a hypocrite, I’d like to talk to you today about how all that… Read More »

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Eeeny, Meeny, Miney, Homo

Well, it’s Pride. And nothing says "I’m proud of all the steps my gay forefathers made for equality" than some drunk, sloppy, 4 AM sex with a stranger. So what will it be this year? Things may unfold a little differently, but the result is always the same. Regretful stories shared over brunch the next… Read More »

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Girls vs. Gays

Sometimes, very rarely, I will go out and drink too much. I know, I always go to church afterwards and confess, but what’s even better is hearing some of my girlfriend’s drunk stories. They got me thinking… Who is more obnoxious when we’re oot and aboot?

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