WEDNESDAY

8 pm #PawsParty 2014 @ The Hoxton, 69 Bathurst St. Presented by Paws for the Cause and inspired by the day of love, Paws Party 2014 is all about saving dogs’ lives and, well, hooking up at the same time. For singles looking to mingle, this year’s event will feature an old school love note wall (partygoers will be assigned a number and a retro little cubbyhole where secret – or not-so-secret – admirers will leave you sexy messages) but the main event will be THE DAWG SHOW. Toronto’s steamiest bachelors will be auctioned off for a date on Valentine’s Day at a one of the city’s buzziest restaurants, with dinner and some drinks provided. Already have a date but want to bid on that dinner reso? No prob, you can ditch the bachelor and do that, too. There will be puppies, too. $69 advance tickets available online.

10 pm Liquid Karaoke @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Colin Bergh, James McDonough, Nadia Belerique, and Jeff Hayward are your hosts. $4 Jameson and $5.50 pints before midnight.

THURSDAY

8 pm Seinfeld Super Terrific Happy Hour Trivia @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. Do you endure the feats of strength every Festivus? Have you yada yada’d sex? Are you master of your domain? Well then, sounds like you need some Super Terrific Seinfeld Trivia! In classic pub-style trivia, Super Terrific Happy Hour trivia features intense trivia questions from the entire history of Seinfeld. No multiple choice, no questions out of canon, just straight up question and answer on the world’s favourite show about nothing, brought to you by three undefeated Seinfeld trivia nuts who clearly have too much time on their hands. Teams are up to six people, answering 50 questions over three rounds, and enjoying Seinfeld episodes in between. Win prizes!

8 pm “This Is Not For You” Opening Reception @ Creatures Creating, 822 Dundas St. W. The first night of a collective art series, consisting of video artists, graphic designers, painters, photographers, and sculptures – all based in Toronto.

8 pm Midnight Desires: ’80s Singles Night @ Sex Laser, 1369 Dundas St. W. Every single song from every last movie from the 1980s with even a remote romantic theme or trope will be played! There will also be a disco ball that comes on at the most perfect moment of the night. ’80s wear encouraged. SINGLES ONLY.

10 pm #ThrowbackThursdays Launch Party @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Clinton’s has a new baby! And the bottle upon which it suckles is filled with bombastic hits to drive you straight mental. Every Thursday, come get a taste of tunes from: J-Lo, DMX, Spice Girls, Will Smith, Aqua, Ludacris, Backstreet Boys, Snoop Dogg, S Club 7, Jay-Z, Hanson, Ace of Base, Savage Garden, Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child and many more. $5.

10 pm Twisted Thursdays @ Crawford, 718 College St. Hip-hop, RnB, reggae, trap, and old school with DJ Law. $5.

FRIDAY

8 pm Tito’s Vodka Presents: Spin The Bottle @ Happy Child, 1168 Queen St. W. An epic, large format game of Spin the Bottle featuring prizes, giveaways, and more! Sexy vibes provided by Grayson Margiella and Smells Gucci.

9 pm WORN Fashion Journal Presents: Heartbreak Karaoke 2014 @ Monarch Tavern, 12 Clinton St. Was it the son of a preacher man? A devil in a blue dress? You obviously didn’t listen—but now everyone else will. WORN Fashion Journal has a karaoke machine, a microphone, sad, sad, sad songs, and enough bitter tears and sweet liquor to fill a swimming pool. What else could you possibly need to mourn your latest romantic folly? All proceeds will go to the production of WORN Fashion Journal. Dress code: red and pink preferred; heart on your sleeve mandatory. $7 at the door ($5 if you’re dressed in red or pink or $10 to cut the line) + $1 per song ($5 to sing Celine Dion).

10 pm Damaged Goods Valentine’s Day Party @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. A Valentine’s Day party for lost souls. Playing the likes of Pulp, New Order, Blonde, Oasis, Blur, Stone Roses, David Bowie, Simple Minds, My Bloody Valetine, Joy Division, and many, many more. $5.

10 pm Beyoncé Pizza Party @ Baltic Avenue, 875 Bloor St. W. February 14th is a day to spend time with the special someone you love, and everyone loves Beyoncé. Mostly-Beyoncé DJ sets from Kempy Rowland, Adam Wray My Name, and Johnnie Walker-Melon + midnight pizza party (PWYP – pay what you pizza).

10 pm Promise Heart Party @ Tower Automotive Building, 158 Sterling Rd. House, techno, and electro from DJs Tone Depth, CHOBO (Jessica Cho + Benjamin Boles), hugsnotdrugs, Tricky Moreira, and Ali Black inside a massive abandoned century warehouse. Art installations by Tiph, Kyle, and Harley Valentine; photobooth by Chris Lingard; snacks by Fairy Foods and Smoothie Operator. $40 advance tickets available at Shanti Baba andonline.

10 pm Fuck It: Fuck Valentine’s Day Edition @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Bangs & Blush present the ultimate anti-Valentine’s Day/guilty pleasure dance party with all your favourites from the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, and ’00s (including the ones you won’t admit to)! $5.

10 pm Synthesexer @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. A wet and drippy, catch my eye-y, shake my body, bite my lip-y, sexy synthy dance party! ARP 2600 (Silent Shout) and Little Kicks (Pop Lobster) will provide the soundtrack to this night of nights. $5.

10 pm That Time Of The Month @ The Henhouse, 1532 Dundas St. W. DJs Alex Molotkow and Shrewd Fellas (filling in for Chandler Levack) bring you the most righteous soul, disco, and R&B by the women that understand. (L’il Kim, Aaliyah, Diana Ross, Betty Wright, TLC, Chaka Khan, Etta James, Salt N’ Pepa, Lauryn Hill, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Donna Summer, Missy Elliot, etc.)

10 pm Swift Ones @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. It’s the best, it’s the worst, it’s awesome, it’s sucky, it’s hot, it’s not, it’s rainbow and smiles and some hardcore sex. They have a kissing booth and balloons! With DJs kungfucandy and Katie Sadie. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Frkn Wknd @ Savoy, 1166 Queen St. W. Walmer Convenience plays the best in current and classic R&B, hip-hop, and dancehall. It’s quite dark in there and the drinks are pretty cheap.

10 pm moondance @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. DJs Annie Webber and Keith Hamilton bring you the best dance jams under the moon! Sweat your way to last call by dancing to their favourite music of all eras (surely, some of your favs too). $5.

10 pm 90s Party: Couples Edition @ Johnny Jackson, 587 College St. Dress in your best ’90s couples/pairs/best buds wear for a chance to win $200 in cash! (Think Beavis & Butthead, Will and Carlton, Blossom and Sixx, Cher and Dion, Wayne and Garth, The SNL Spartan Cheerleaders, Zach and Slater, Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin, Al and Peg Bundy, Kurt and Courtney…etc.) Eyesore Cinema will be screening ’90s mashups and giving away some stuff while DJs Caff and Fawn BC play all your favourite alternative rock, pop, and hip-hop tunes from the decade. $5 beforemidnight, $10 after.

10 pm HugLife @ Handlebar, 159 Augusta Ave. Huglifetakes romance and seduction seriously, so expect seriously titillating bounce tracks to set the mood for your bar and post-bar activities with that special someone you met on the dance floor. They play: booty house, future garage, strip club anthems, Lionel Richie.

10 pm Holy Ghost! DJ Set @ The Hoxton, 69 Bathurst St. DJ set by NYC synthpop duo Holy Ghost! with support from Mr. Charlton, Gray Moonen, and Dickystixxx. $10 advance tickets available online.

10 pm Phazed / Crawford House Party @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, it’s old school meets new school hip-hop and R&B with DJ Amplified. Downstairs, MC Jayflex hosts your favourite house party! Old school hip-hop, trap, and R&B all night + red cup drink special ($9.50 gets you a red cup and a shot). $5 before 10:30 pm, more after.

10:30 pm Her @ La Perla, 783 Queen St. W. The MetropHERlis Edition. DJs Kris Steeves, FORMBYBRASSBAND, and OMGBLOG.com spin future house and big city disco all night! Drink special before 11:30 pm. For line bypass, email set.her.free@gmail.com. $5.

11 pm Lay These Knight @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. DJs Patrick McGuire and Famous Players play sweaty R&B anthems from the ’90s to the ’10s. All your old favourites, new favourites, and soon-to-be-favourites! $10.

SATURDAY

7 pm Grand Electric Presents: It’s Electric Time @ The Baitshop, 358 Dufferin St., Suite 117. Open bar, beats by DJ Linx, and a complimentary copy of Grand Electric’s limited edition “It’s Electric Time” calendar, featuring the lovely women of Grand Electric and Electric Mud BBQ. All proceeds go to ReThink Breast Cancer! $20 ticket includes open bar (alcohol courtesy of Great Lakes Brewery and Wild Turkey Bourbon) and a copy of the sexy calendar. Until 11 pm.

10 pm Y2K Millennial Dance Party @ Weldon Park, 569 College St. A party devoted to the best jams of the early-to-mid 2000s, brought to you by Good Kids. Guilty pleasures, one hit wonders, chart toppers, and everything in between! $5.

10 pm Young Lions Music Club Presents: A Sexy Time Dance Party @ Baltic Avenue, 875 Bloor St. W. Summer Fling DJs and TCQ promise you lots of dancing, lots of music, and lots and lots of sexual excitement. If you don’t know TCQ (or if you do) you’re in for a real treat. They’re an all-girl reggae band that will make you dance and laugh and sing along to songs about photoshop. $5

10 pm Get It Together: Thinkin’ Bout You Edition @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Celebrate all the loves in your life on this night! All styles, all genres, all peoples welcome. $5.

10 pm Ooh Ooooh! @ Savoy, 1166 Queen St. W. DJ Greedo plays nothing but big tunes from the ’90s up. Hip-hop, reggae, R&B, and guilty pleasures all night long.

10 pm Love Handle @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. DJs Catalist, Famous Lee, and special guest Efsharp throw an all-vinyl boogie funk dance party! $5.

10 pm Grippin Grain #42 @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. DJs Co-op, Lonnie Ce, and Footwerk play strictly club rap all night. Also featuring beer and yelling. $5.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Spend the night together with the Bangs & Blush ladies! ’60s pop, soul and rock ‘n’ roll to drink, dance, and get messy to. $5.

10 pm Paradise @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. DJ sets by Jonathan Lee and City Kid Soul with special guests Rich Tuck and Skin & Bones. For $5 guestlist before midnight, email guestlist@wrongbar.com.

10 pm Deep Endz @ The Steady, 1051 Bloor St. W. A dance music night with a focus on two-step, house, UK garage, and techno. Music provided by DJs Stephen Thrasher, Eytan Tobin, Church of Molly, and special guests.

10 pm BeastDJ @ Crawford, 718 College St. BeastDJ and Monee Jane bring you hits from all the decades. $5 before 10:30 pm, more after.

11 pm Shake A Tail @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. ’60s pop, rock, soul, funk, garage, ska, ANYTHING! Always humid. $5.

11 pm Quatro @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Bridging the gap between four different eras and forming a cohesive sonic bond, Conor Cutz and Rouge bring you a night of the best music from times past. From the 1970s to the early 2000s, expect to hear the best of everything from James Brown to Justice, M.J. to Biggie—tracks that defined generations, seamlessly mashed up and reworked by the infamous duo. Aroundmidnight, renowned speed artist Anthony Haley takes the stage and begins performing his craft. Gaining inspiration from the crowd, music and overall feel of the night, Haley will take you on a visual quest creating piece after piece live on stage. $10.

SUNDAY

8 pm TV Party @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. New True Detective episode at 9 pm followed by punk and raps YouTube jukebox.

10 pm Family Recipe @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Family Day long weekend! DJs James Redi, Fathom, and Caff mix and blend only the best ingredients. May contain hip-hop, R&B, dancehall, and club musics.

10 pm Family Matters: A Family Day Dance Party @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. DJs David O and Pat M play hip-hop, dance, ’80s, ’90s, pop, party jams, and Motown. Free before midnight, $5 after.

~ For event submissions, email Caitlyn Holroyd at caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com