With the weekend fast approaching, I’m reminded of that Leo Sayer song… you know, the one where he says, ‘you make me feel like dancing, I want to dance the night away…’. I could go on for ages with references to songs about being in the mood to rock out, but I will spare you the tedium. All I’ll say is the weekend’s here, and I gots to move! I’m not that down with rug-cutting alone, and dudes suck, so I’m often out dancing with gal-pals. I know, I know, a gay guy, out with a bunch of girls, he’s really bucking a trend here… But that’s me, I break barriers. That’s how I roll. Anyhoot, here’s some fun places to go with your homo friends for some gay d-d-d-dancing.

a) Big Primpin’ at Stone’s Place
‘Homo Hip Hop’ as they call it, you’ll be sure to see lots of bandana/scarf necked hipsters shaking their skinny jean wearing butts off. The line-ups can get a bit ridiculous so cut out that mix drink shit and go straight to the back where there’s a beer tub girl. Grab yourself a 50 and get ready to enjoy some Bell Biv Devoe. Watch out for the washrooms, which have been known to flood. Yet another in the long list of reasons to not wear flip flops to a bar. This is a monthly night, check SheDoesTheCity’s nightlife section to find out when.

b) Hump Day Bump at The Gladstone
Every Wednesday at The Gladstone, this night is full of young Queen Westers, often more of the lesbian variety. Watch for DJ’s Le Freak C’est Keek and Hollyrock dropping some crazy beats. And let me say, come 12:30, the place really is bumpin’! The dancefloor gets wild. Also look for local celebs dropping in for a night of dancing; I’ve rocked my body next to Sandra Oh at this event. One warning: make sure you either roll in late (around 1 am) or early (before 11) to avoid lineups with bouncers wearing Madonna style headsets.

c) Grapefruit at Fly
Faggy retro music reigns supreme at this gaytown club. Listen for loads of old Madonna, Kylie, Spice Girls, and some of your favourite random Dance Mix 91-94 classics. Entry is ten bones, but more than worth it. The place is huge, with loads of bathrooms (be ready to see mostly dudes in the ladies though). Did I mention one of the best drag queens in the city… Donnarama? She always performs a hilarious, energetic number. Be sure to stake out your spot on the dancefloor and get ready to be pushed around; the place gets packed. To avoid lines, say sayonara to mix drinks here and cut to the main floor bar near the smoking exit to just get beer, or, *shudder*, Rev. Choose your nights carefully because on other evenings, the place gets way gayer, way house-ier, way druggier, and way… shirtless-er? It’s the first Friday of the month, or, check the SDTC nightlife section for times.

d) Buddies
Church St. bar to some, theatre to others. It all depends on what time and night you prefer to go out. Come Fridays and Saturdays, Buddies In Bad Times Theatre turns into a gay bar! Make sure to enjoy the gay classics, old and new. When you hear ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’, it’s appropriate to jump with one hand in the air at the chorus. Watch out for stomped feet (again, no flip flops!). You’ll be sure to hear more Spice Girls, Aqua, Christina Aguilera, Britney, blah blah blah… One of your best bets for a fun Saturday of dancing. In the summer the lines get pretty crazy, so again, show up early or late. Be sure to talk to some of the bouncers and bartenders, they’re some of the nicest, most interesting people on the street.

e) Crews & Tango
More gaytown. This bar is actually on Church Street. With three seperate rooms and a huge smoking patio, there’s always something to do. In the back, listen for gayed up versions of hit songs. By gayed up I mean more of that untz-untz-untz beat we gays (apparently) love. Upstairs is a distinct hip-hop area (of the more vanilla flavour), and the front room is a drag queen performance area. All good, depending on what your poison is that particular night. The bar is open every night of the week but Thursday through Saturdays are their busiest. Again, watch for long line ups, especially in the summer.

There’s tons more places to go, but I’m thinking you’re tired of reading and I know for sure I’m tired of writing, so I’m gonna sign off here. Toronto is a fantastic city though, with tons of gay shit happening uptown to downtown, East End to West. Ask your gay friends. Wear some sensible shoes, hit the town, and don’t stop dancing till they turn on the lights! I’ll be the drunkass next to you telling you how much I love your outfit. And tits.