I wrote a column a while back about stimulating the woman’s hot spots. Well, ladies, men have a hot spot too—it’s the prostate. This walnut sized gland is located directly underneath the bladder, inside the anal canal. The gland is in close proximity to the rectal wall, which can be accessed through the anus. It is loaded with sensitive nerve endings, which is quite pleasurable when massaged with fingers. But make sure your man is up for this delightful intrusion before going in!
Before Anal Play
First, be sure your partner has emptied his bladder or has had a bowel movement. Second, make sure your fingernails are filed down and smooth so that you don’t cut him. Third, your partner should be relaxed so that it prevents the possibility of tearing the lining of his rectum. May I suggest rubbing him down with massage oil, slowly moving your hands toward the butt?
Have a Seat, Get Comfortable
Your partner can assume a seated position; his back reclined and supported by large firm pillows (at about a 45 degree angle) with his knees pulled in the direction of his chest and somewhat angled outward. Not only will this be comfortable for him, but it will give you an unobstructed view and easy access to his anus while you sit cross legged or kneel in front of him.
Perineums and Holes
Begin by massaging your partner’s prostate externally. Use your index and middle fingertips to touch, rub, stroke, or press his perineum (the area of skin from underneath his testicles to his anus). You can also begin to stroke his anal opening in circular motions. Encourage your partner to communicate what feels good to him.
Lube is the Word
Whether you’re using a rubber glove or not (a well lubricated rubber surface will glide more easily than naked skin), douse your finger(s) with a water-based lube. Gently and gradually insert your finger(s) (probably best to start with one finger) into his anus. When the moment comes, you will notice that the finger will seem to be drawn into the anus. Once the finger has been allowed to enter, be still and allow the anal sphincters the chance to become accustomed to the stimulation. Do not move your finger in and out unless it’s for more lube.
The Rectal Rubdown
If your partner is comfortable, go into his anus a little deeper with your finger, about two inches. Move your finger in an upward motion along the wall of the rectal lining that faces the front of his body.
Going for the Bulb
Try to feel for a round bulb of tissue — this is the prostate. Once you locate this area, move your finger in a "come hither" motion. Use your finger pad on the tip of your finger to massage the prostate, and be mindful of not using your nail. Ask if your partner would like more or less pressure, and slower or faster strokes.
Lick it, Touch it, Do With it What You Will
While you are massaging him, he may like it if you touch his penis and testicles or give him oral pleasure. This may require some coordination on your part, but you’ll get the hang of it in no time, and he’ll love you for it.
The Rhythm is Gonna Get’cha
Once he is fully aroused, you may begin to rhythmically move the inserted finger partially in and out, so as to stimulate the super sensitive nerve endings around the anus. You may also rhythmically or irregularly press on his prostate gland before or during ejaculation. It is even possible for men to orgasm through prostate stimulation alone.
When a man receives anal stimulation, he may feel as though he needs to, you know, do a number 2. But usually this is just a feeling that will take a little getting used to. Men enjoy eye contact no matter what sexual activity you’re engaging in; stimulating his ass is no exception. Be open to communication by making sure he is comfortable and enjoying himself. He’ll be giving you a heads up either way, I’m sure.